If the person lives with you, watch them to see if they need help. If you don’t live with the person, you should call or contact them regularly to see if they’re okay and if they need help. Always make sure to respect your family member’s privacy and personal space. [1] X Research source How closely they need to be monitored depends on their age, needs, and amount of care received from other people. For example, a young, nonverbal autistic child will need more help than a fully verbal, semi-independent autistic adult.
Tailor your help to the needs you observe or hear about. For example, if your relative uses a wheelchair and has good hand strength, it would be appropriate to ask if they’d like you to move a chair out of their way, but it wouldn’t be appropriate to offer to cut up their food. If they say they can do it, let them do it, and don’t insist on “helping. " If offering emotional support, think about spending time doing activities your relative enjoys.
If your relative asks for help with a specific activity, try to help them as soon as you can. Try not to put it off so long that the person no longer needs your help. Always be polite and gracious when the person asks for assistance. Avoid saying things like “I’m sort of busy, but I can help. ” You don’t want them to feel bad for having a disability. Instead, just say, “Sure, what can I do?” Make sure you are pleasant and seem enthusiastic when you are helping or talking to your relative. Ultimately, if your relative feels like they are putting you out, they won’t want your support. Keep in mind that it may be difficult and take a lot for them to ask for help.
Consider applying for grants for resources or equipment for your relative. See if your relative is eligible for benefits under Medicare, Medicaid, their health insurance, or other similar parties. If your relative is a veteran, they might be eligible for equipment or resources from the Veterans Administration. Help them navigate the bureaucracy of the VA to get their benefits. Don’t feel obligated to spend money you don’t have. [2] X Research source
Try to do little things from time to time that might go above and beyond just help or emotional support. If you help a person who is immobile get food or go to the doctors, perhaps think about bringing them to their favorite restaurant or bringing them takeout. Always accept them for who they are. Don’t dismiss them and don’t dislike them because of their disability. Try to view your relative as just another person with particular needs or challenges. [3] X Research source
Consult with your relative or their primary caregiver about what locations work the best or locations that the disabled relative enjoys visiting. Be thoughtful when planning the time of the event. If your relative is best able to enjoy and participate in family activities in the morning or in the afternoon, plan for that time of day. If they have doctors appointments, plan around those appointments. Pick activities that your family member can most participate. If they are hard of hearing, avoid noisy restaurants. If they are immobile, pick an activity that does not require much mobility.
Disabilities can be physical. The main type of disability people think of when they think of people with disabilities are physical disabilities that restrict mobility. Disabilities can be emotional or psychological. An increasing number of people are being diagnosed with emotional or psychological disabilities. One common psychological disability is post-traumatic stress disorder. Disabilities can be developmental. Many people also experience learning disabilities. People with learning disabilities might require tutoring or extra help when it comes to making life choices or even choices on a daily basis.
Avoid thinking about time constraints when you are helping or supporting someone with a disability. If you’re feeling really frustrated, chances are that the disabled person is frustrated too. You might be dealing with this when you’re with them, but they have to handle it for their entire lives.
Your financial limitations. Time constraints and other obligations, like work or caring for young children. If you can’t offer time, you may be able to offer financial help. If you can’t offer financial help, you may be able to offer time. If you can’t offer either, maybe you can simply check in on your relative from time to time and spend a few minutes on the phone with them.
Say something like “If you ever need help, you can count on me,” or “If you ever need someone to talk to, please call me. " Offer both general and specific help. Sometimes people may be shy about asking for help, or might not know where to start. It can help to offer “Would you like me to guide you to the restroom?” or, “What if I came over at 6:00 with some gluten-free lasagna?” Asking your family member if they need support will allow you to initiate a conversation about their disability without you indirectly telling them that they need help.
Listening to a person and allowing them to give feedback will validate their personhood. When listening to your family member, avoid thinking about what you are going to say next. Try to truly clear your mind. Focus on listening. Wait until your relative is finished to respond. Allow them the full opportunity to talk.
If you’re not the primary caregiver, make sure to stay in regular contact with the caregiver. The primary caregiver is probably the person who knows the needs and challenges of the disabled person best (next to the disabled person). If your disabled family member requires substantial amount of financial support, talk to your other family members about setting up a pool to share the cost of their expenses. If your disabled family member needs emotional support and companionship, talk to your family to make sure someone is always available to offer support. [4] X Research source
