Do your part by not taking what his life or emotions do to him as an indicator of your value as a girlfriend or how he feels about you. Pushing and expressing your unhappiness due to his unhappiness adds to his stress and will only make him pull away more.
Call up your girls and plan a night out or a trip to the nail salon for pampering. Catch up with friends over lunch or drinks.
Find a new hobby like yoga or a painting class. Focus on being more successful at your job or in your classes at school.
Resist the urge to feel the void of silence with incessant texts and questioning. Exercise self-control and relax. With the pressure of staying connected is removed, he’ll be inspired and motivated to come to you.
Use eye contact with small smiles and head nods to indicate that you are listening to your partner. [3] X Research source Use words and phrases of positive reinforcements when responding to your boyfriend: “yes”, “I agree”, “I get that completely because…”, etc. Use questions of clarification to better understand details of what’s being said. Console him in a loving, positive way. If he’s open to gestures, give him a hug or a kiss to reinforce him being open and vulnerable with you.
Be compassionate. Don’t allow tension to sink the relationship or place stress on the relationship as a whole. Notice the signs of his stress and show compassion towards those emotions. Keep lines of communication open, even if he chooses not to use them. Make sure that he knows he can talk to you when he’s ready and willing. [4] X Research source Don’t forget to take care of yourself while you’re trying to be there for your partner.
Make him his favorite meal or treat him to his favorite restaurant without him asking. Give him a relaxing back massage to help him unwind. Suggest that he have a night out with his friends versus plans that two of you might have made to attend a movie or an event.
Figure out ways to laugh together. Spend time together with the emphasis being less on talking and more on experiencing one another. Engage in a physical activity like bowling or playing pool.
Show him how supportive you are of him by admiring and respecting him in front of his friends, your friends, or family members. Find an accomplishment or an attribute about him and lift him up to the people around him or you. “Hey, did you know Harry just got a job at Carter’s corporate office?” or “I’m really proud of him for pursuing his songwriting. It’s been amazing to see him grow. ”[6] X Research source
For small gestures, just as readily as you would for big gestures, say “thank you” to show your appreciation in a simple but effective way. Admire his looks by telling him, “You look really handsome today” or be more specific and say, “You look really handsome in that shirt today”. Show him that you’re in his corner by saying, “Hey, I’m on your side. ” Never be too prideful or too egotistical to admit when you’re wrong. Say “I’m sorry” whenever there’s a need to.
Realize that he is building and show that you want to be a part of that by asking him questions that express genuine interest for what he does and who he is trying to become in the work place. Have confidence that he can do his job and do his job well and watch as your faith leads to how well he approaches his work. Offer a complimentary back rub or head rub every now and then as a treat.
Talk to him about where he wants to be and what he wants to do in life between the next six months to two years. After you help him see that image, help him think bigger in five years, in ten, and in twenty. [8] X Research source Make goals are as specific and grounded to reality as possible, but make room for goals that might be a little more star-worthy. For every “I want to be debt-free by the time I’m 35”, leave room for “I want to skydive from a plane”.
