For bonus petty points, look for mailing list subscriptions advertising potentially embarrassing products and services, such as penis enlargement, hair loss treatment, or illiteracy programs. If you really want to put a cherry on top of your sundae, sneak in some fake personal mail here and there, like an addressed envelope filled with glitter or a package containing dog poop, an old fish, or some moldy cheese. [2] X Research source
To spice up your wicked warning, mail an anonymous letter to your enemy containing a set of needles and a note reading, “Don’t make me use these. ”
Pulling off this startling stunt will require you to have access to your enemy’s home, or at least be three steps ahead of them the next time they head to the facilities at school or work.
You could enact this little ruse using just about any type of cream-filled confection, including éclairs, cannolis, strudels, and macarons. [5] X Research source Tricking someone with the old mayo donut is a good way to teach them an unappetizing lesson about eating other people’s food.
Chances are, your enemy will eventually block the unknown number when they catch on to what’s happening. Use a different website each day to ensure that the calls keep coming through and deny them a good night’s sleep. Twist the torture dial even further by scheduling a wake-up call every hour on the hour throughout the night. That way, they’ll be jolted awake just when they’ve succeeded in falling back to sleep.
Examples of some of the devious deeds these companies may perform include mailing your victim envelopes of itching powder, spoiling their favorite TV series for them, and breaking the news that they’ve been diagnosed with imaginary diseases. Best of all, most revenge services operate anonymously, which means there’s no way that the pranks they pull can be traced back to you. Some companies also give you the option of requesting revenge-related advice if you’d prefer to twist the knife yourself.
Make your message short and not-so-sweet: “Allison Smith is afraid of squirrels” or “Bobby McGee still wets the bed” will put a humiliating period at the end of your feud. Schedule your flight for a nice day with clear weather, preferably in an area where lots of people who know your enemy will be gathered, like downtown or near an outdoor concert. Skywriting is an impressively elaborate method of sticking it to a foe, but it’s not cheap. You can expect to pay between $1,000 and $3,000 for a smoke trail, and as much as $500 per hour and $2 per square foot for a custom banner.
Keep in mind that by setting out to ruin your nemesis, innocent people could get caught in the crossfire. Such is the indifferent, destructive hurricane that is revenge.
Choosing not to act on your vengeful urges can also be very empowering. It screams loud and clear that the only person who has control over your actions and reactions is you. [12] X Research source There’s a lot of truth to be found in the old Spanish proverb, “No revenge is more honorable than the one not taken. ” It really comes down to empathy for yourself and for the other person. For whatever reason, this person became your enemy and they have their own issues to work out. What you can focus on are your own strengths, your own positive attributes, and your own way of navigating the world. The more energy you put into yourself, the less energy will be put into that enemy.
Getting reassurance from someone who cares about you is far more satisfying and impactful than making your enemies grovel at your feet. In fact, scientific research shows that acts of revenge rarely make the person committing them feel any better at all. [14] X Research source Therapy and other self-care activities can also help you focus on yourself and grow beyond revenge.
Try to look at your enemy’s actions as a blessing in disguise. It could be, for instance, that they’re a former friend who’s stabbed you in the back, and their betrayal has made you more careful about who you let into your inner circle. Don’t feel too bad about being a target for your enemy’s scorn. The fact that they would go to such great lengths to interfere with your happiness means that they think you’re important.
Intense forms of exercise like weightlifting, sprinting, rowing, or interval training can be an excellent way to blow off some steam while also reaping a host of health benefits. [17] X Research source When someone tries to make you feel small, you have two choices: you can let it eat you alive or you can let it push you to become even greater.
Standing up to a bothersome bully, for example, may be enough to get them to lay off. Look them dead in the eye and tell them firmly, “That’s enough. I’m tired of you messing with me. ” You could also take a more diplomatic approach by saying something like, “What’s your problem with me? I’ve never done anything to you. ” If the person giving you grief is someone you work with, choose your words carefully to avoid stoking conflict and damaging your professional relationship. It may be a good idea to get a supervisor involved in private. [20] X Research source
If your enemy attempts to insult you by asking “Do you still wear diapers?”, you might strike back with, “Why, did you want to borrow one?” A shining example of a cutting comeback comes from Dorothy Parker. When accosted by a drunk critic who said, “I can’t bear fools,” she calmly replied, “Apparently your mother could. ”[22] X Research source
Do what you need to do to remove your enemy from your life: block them on social media, avoid places where they hang out, and don’t hesitate to stonewall them if they try to talk to you. [24] X Research source If you let the things your enemy says and does get to you when they’re not even around, they’ve already won.
Even if you don’t feel any better after letting things marinate for a bit, you’ll at least have a better perspective on the situation, which will help you formulate a plan of action.
