Talking truthfully about your dating history is a good way to build trust and strengthen an already-established relationship. By opening up about your past, you are allowing yourself to be vulnerable with the other person. If somebody asks about your dating history on a first date and you don’t want to go into great depth on that yet, you can say something like “Here’s the 30 second version. " That way you answer their question without having to delve into detail. [2] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
Avoid having this discussion during times when they are stressed at work or school.
You might say something like “I learned to never take my partner for granted. When I dated my ex, she was always asking me to spend time with her and I rarely did, so she broke up with me. I don’t want her back, but I did learn that you can’t maintain so much distance from people. ”
You can say “When I dated Trevor, I learned to be more open minded about politics. That’s why it was important for me to watch the debates with you and learn about your views. ”
For instance, perhaps you shared that you were abused by an ex. They might begin to ask a lot of questions which bring up painful memories for you. Let them know that you can talk more about it later.
You might say “After dating Chris, I knew I could never date another smoker. Dating you, I appreciate how concerned you are about your health. I really respect that. ”
For instance, if you haven’t dated much, you might have used that time to focus on work or school, but have learned that life without love isn’t much fun. From short relationships, you might have learned exactly what you don’t need from a partner, or you may have corrected some of your own faults because of them. Bear in mind that if your partner is unable to accept these things about you, they might not be the right person for you.
Share information like this on the first or second date. If you do have children, it might be a good idea to think ahead of time about when you would realistically feel comfortable introducing them to your significant other. [8] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
You might say “I’m still friends with Gabriella, who I dated two years ago. We text every so often and sometimes have lunch. We don’t have any romantic feelings for one another anymore. ”
Say “I noticed from your social media that you know Frank. He and I dated for about three months last year. I don’t know how close the two of you are, but I thought you should know. ”
For instance, if they tell you that they cheated a few years back, you might want to give them a chance. However, if they have cheated on everyone they’ve dated, this is a red flag.
For example, if you broke up with your last partner because they were too emotionally distant, pay attention to signs of the same issue with your current partner.
However, if you have an STD, you should disclose this before having sex with anyone.
