You can say something like, “Would you like to meet at The Coffee Shop? It’s quiet, comfortable, and has great drinks. " If your first meeting will include the parents, it might take place at the home of one of the families. Ask for it to be your family’s home if that makes you feel more comfortable. Ask to change locations if someone suggests meeting in a place that you don’t care for.
If you are a man, consider wearing some nice slacks with a collared shirt. Don’t forget to make sure your shoes are in good shape! If you’re a woman, a nice dress is a great choice. Stick to a more conservative silhouette that isn’t too short or too tight.
You can group your questions into categories like “family,” “work/finances,” “faith,” and “romance. ” Once you have your categories, you can come up with specific questions like, “What are the characteristics that are most important to you in a spouse?” You can take your notes to the meeting with you if that makes you feel calmer.
Of course, you will need to politely answer all of the questions that you are asked. Try to smile and speak clearly.
You can also try making an easy joke. If it’s freezing cold outside you can say, “Lovely weather, right?” Many people dismiss small talk as shallow, but it’s actually a great way to break the ice.
”What does your perfect day look like?” ”What 3 people would you invite to your ideal dinner party?” ”How much time do you spend with your family?”
”How important are love and affection to you?” ”What do you value in a friend?” ”What are your goals?” ”What is your biggest accomplishment?”
If the other person says that their career is one of their top priorities, you can comment about how you like your own job, and talk about both of your goals. Responding to their answers will also make the other person feel like you are really paying attention.
If they seem shy or nervous, you can prompt them to ask questions by saying something like, “Is there anything you’d like to know about me?”
”What role will faith play in your marriage?” ”How do you envision the division of labor in a marriage?” ”How do you handle conflict?” ”Do you see your spouse as a friend and partner?”
When you’re answering questions, there’s no need to rush. Take a moment to think through your answer and then speak slowly and clearly.
You can do this before you enter the meeting and at any time when you need a moment to collect your thoughts.
You can also use facial expressions to demonstrate your interest. Smiling is a great way to encourage someone to keep talking.
If there is a question that makes you truly uncomfortable, you can say, “I really don’t feel comfortable talking about that right now. ”
