Reinforce these ideas with your child after you have finished speaking with another person. Let them know, “I like listening to this person because I get to learn new things when they talk to me. ” Likewise, if you catch yourself demonstrating less-than-ideal behavior in front of your child, don’t be afraid to call yourself out. Let your child know, “It was rude of me to interrupt this person while they were talking. The polite thing to do is always to let someone finish speaking before you start to talk. ”
Start a conversation. Teach your child about the best way to greet someone. For example, you might teach your child to say something like, “Hi, Christy! How are you today?” Continue a conversation. Teach your child how to ask open ended questions to keep the other person talking, and about how to be a good listener. For example, you might teach your child to ask questions like, “How is your family?” or “How do you like your new teacher?” or “How was your vacation?” End a conversation. Teach your child how to tell when a conversation is reaching its natural end. For example, the person might start looking around or go silent. When this happens, teach your child to say something like, “It was fun talking with you! Have a great day!” and then leave.
Some topics to teach your child that they should avoid include finances, politics, religion, death, sex, a person’s age or appearance, and gossip. [1] X Research source Your child might not know enough about some of these topics yet to worry about them, so consider what suggestions would be the most helpful for your child. For example, you might say to your child, “I know you’re really interested in money right now, but we don’t want to ask Mr. Bob about how much money he makes because it might embarrass him. You can ask him about what does at his job. "
For example, you might say to your child, “When you are outside, you can yell and talk loudly. But when you are inside, it is important to speak in a lower voice. ” Or, “I know that you might think you are speaking loud enough for other people to hear you, but you are being so quiet that some people might not be able to hear. Can you try to speak a little louder so we can hear what you have to say?”
Use sentences that start with “I,” instead of “You” to effectively convey your feelings to your child. For example, say “I am upset that you didn’t finish your homework” instead of “You make me upset when you don’t finish your homework. " When your child says something like, “I don’t like that!” ask them why they feel that way. Have an open dialogue about their feelings. If your child is truly uncomfortable sharing, do not force them to talk. Do, however, try to ask them why they feel uncomfortable talking about their feelings.
When your child is speaking with someone, encourage them to ask questions by saying things like, “Why don’t you ask your friend what they are going to do after school today?” When your child is talking with you, ask questions like, “How was school today?” or “Do you like what you’re learning in your homework?”
Use dolls, action figures, sock puppets, stuffed animals, or whatever else your child likes to play with to help them with their communication. Create characters and have conversations. Take turns talking and listening to your child in 10 or 15 second increments. For example, listen to your child while they talk for 15 seconds, then make your child listen to you while you talk for 15 seconds.
Find certain situations where you can let your child call the shots. Allow them to pick what they want for dinner one night, or give them control of the remote for an hour on the weekend. Encourage your child to be comfortable with themselves. Avoid statements that encourage peer worship by comparing your child to one of their friends or classmates. Instead, focus on their good traits and let them know it’s ok to be who they are. [5] X Expert Source Iddo DeVries, MA-SLPSpeech-Language Pathologist Expert Interview. 28 August 2020. If your child comes to you with a specific situation such as a bully, help coach them through their specific scenario to figure out the best way for them to stand up for themselves.
Sit down or kneel to your child’s eye level so you can make eye contact when they speak to you. Remove distractions that make it difficult to hear your child by turning off the radio or television, or by moving into a quiet room away from others. Display signs of verbal and nonverbal listening as your child speaks; such as nodding your head or saying short, verbal expressions that prove you are listening.
Ask your child to repeat what you said back to you in their own words, and show them encouragement when they do so by thanking them. If you have to repeat something because your child was not listening, let them know, “It is important to listen the first time you are told something. I will not repeat this again. ”
If you catch your child interrupting someone, let them know, “It’s another person’s turn to speak right now. You should always let someone finish speaking before you start. ” Demonstrate the courtesy of not interrupting your child when they speak to you by allowing them to speak in entirety about a particular matter.
Practice both listening and speaking by having your child read certain characters in the book. Let them listen while you read and pay attention so that they know when their turn is coming. Then, let them lead the conversation as they read for their character.
Telephone is another game that encourages careful listening. Pick a phrase, and whisper it to your child. Then, have your child whisper the phrase to a friend. Continue the process down a line of friends until you reach the last one, and have the last person say what they heard.
If, for example, your child doesn’t recognize that wide eyes mean fear, let them know that big eyes and restricted pupils may indicate that a person is afraid or uncomfortable.
Demonstrate both verbal and nonverbal means of sharing. Ask your child, “Would you like to try this?” on some occasions, and on others offer something to them without words.
Explain to your child that it is polite to look others in the eyes because it shows they have your attention and that you are listening carefully.
If, for example, you are at the store with your child, you could ask them if people in the check-out line seem happy, and let them explain why or why not.
