Pay close attention the next time your lady is bantering with you. Note her eyes, her face, her voice, her body language, and her general attitude. All of these are clues to solving your mystery.
Keep track of your encounters. Does she stop by your desk once in a while to tease you and quickly moves on? That might not be a good sign. Does she join you in the lunch room several days a week? Do you always seem to run into her in hall ways or at the water cooler? That is more encouraging.
Pay special attention to your mystery lady’s general flirting habits. Does she share her favors widely? Does she flirt with other men, or maybe girls? This behavior may indicate that she is a serial flirt. On the other hand, does she seem to concentrate on you and you alone? If the flirting is mostly exclusive, you can pretty safely assume that there is a reason for it.
Pay close attention to where she is looking. Does she hold eye contact with you? Usually when talking, we hold and break eye contact frequently. If she gazes deeply into your eyes in your presence, it might mean she is attracted. [4] X Research source Note how much she blinks, as well. Does she do it a lot when she’s with you? The average person blinks about 20 times per minute. However, our blink rate increases when we’re emotionally excited. If your girl is blinking like mad, it’s a good reason to think that she is interested in you. [5] X Research source
Does she mirror your body language and gestures? Surprisingly, this unconscious behavior is a sign that she’s noticing you – both what you do and how you do it. Does she lean in or angle toward you during conversations? What about her toes? Does she usually point them toward you? These, again, are more unconscious ways that our body can signal we like a person. [7] X Research source
Look also at her eyebrows. One common way the body signals attraction is the raised brow. When someone likes us, their eyebrows rise and fall. This lasts less than a second but is there. Look for it. [8] X Research source What about her pupils? Pupils become dilated – that is, slightly larger – as a brain response to physical attraction. If she gets large, doe eyes in your presence, it is a signal that she likes you. [9] X Research source See how she smiles. People tend to smile from above the mouth when they are truly happy, in order words, the smile engages the whole face above the mouth. A smile with an open mouth, lifted forehead, and squinted eyes is a good sign that the smile is genuine. [10] X Research source
For example, does your mystery lady remember things that you say? Does she recall that you really hate banana peppers on pizza but really like anchovies? Does she quote Star Trek at you, because she knows that it’s your favorite movie? What about other likes and dislikes? Does she remember your birthday? Does she ask how you are if you’ve said that you had a bad day or are feeling unwell? What about small details? For example, a girl who remembers that you wore a red sweater to last year’s Christmas party – when you have long forgotten – either has a great eye for detail or pays special attention to you. Remember—if someone really likes you, they will make quality time for your relationship and really get to know who you are. [12] X Expert Source Jan & Jillian YuhasRelationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
Questions about your family, friends, pets, hobbies, and other personal details may show that she wants to know more about your personal side. Does she ever ask you embarrassing things, i. e. the name of your goldfish, the name of your favorite stuffed animal as a child, or other cute but somewhat mortifying questions? This could be a good sign.
Listen carefully for hints. She will probably not say openly, “I talk about you all the time with my friends. ” You’ll have to read between the lines. Does she lead on that she shares stories about you or things that you’ve done together, perhaps to her sister or mother? Have you met her other friends? If so, did they know who you were? You can bet that your mystery lady talks about you privately if her best friend said, when you met, “Oh hi! I’ve heard so much about you!” The fact that she talks about you is not proof positive that she’s interested, however. It may mean that she likes you, but it also may mean that she sees you as a good friend. In that case, your problem may be the tricky “friend zone. ”
Think about how you feel around her, too. If a girl is just playing you, your interactions will feel more like work than excitement. [13] X Expert Source Jan & Jillian YuhasRelationship Coaches & Boundary Specialists Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
For men, the most successful flirting techniques are quick glances as well as “space maximization” postures – i. e. sitting with an arm extended across the back of a nearby chair. These moves show interest, but also social confidence.
You might be surprised how much these small things matter. If she likes you, remembering that your mystery girl loves to watch Gilmour Girls or has a side interest in astrophysics can go along way. Ask her questions. Without being intrusive, show interest in her by asking about her likes and dislikes, her interests, or just how she is doing. Give her a compliment on what she’s wearing. Try something simple like, “Wow, is that a new skirt? You look very pretty in it. ” This signals two things: you noticed her appearance and approve of it.
The response that your invitation gets should give you an answer. A yes is obvious: she likes you! If your mystery girl starts acting weird or stops talking to you, most likely someone else is on her mind and she feels uncomfortable. If she continues your current relationship without any change, on the other hand, it could be that she is simply messing with you. Give her some space to sort things out if she appears hesitant. An evasive reply may mean that she is uncertain – she may be starting to have feelings for you but is not sure. All you can do is give her some time and space.
In case of a rejection, avoid being obnoxious and move on. Resist the temptation to stick it out. She wasn’t interested and time will probably not change that. Try to find a girl who is really interested in you. Keep all of the advice here in mind and continuing looking for that special mystery lady.
