As with every potential clue, it’s possible she is just admiring another woman without having a sexual attraction to her. After all, women are constantly scrutinizing other women’s appearances. However, if she repeatedly openly admires another woman’s sex appeal, maybe she is open to more. [2] X Research source
Go with your intuition. Sometimes you just get a vibe. You generally know when someone seems attracted to you or someone else, right? Sometimes intuition can mean more than words. Some studies have found that up to 60 percent of women are attracted to other women, so it’s not that rare. Whether they will act on it might be another story. [3] X Research source Society encourages women to develop emotional closeness to one another. For some, this can spill over into attraction. Realize that sexuality can be very fluid. Studies have found that women define their sexuality more ambiguously as they age. The tricky part is that many platonic female relationships mirror romantic relationships because they are built on sharing intimate details and talking about personal issues for hours on end.
If she goes out of the way to interact with another woman in ways a partner would, that’s a sign. Does she show up at the other woman’s soccer games or head to the bar when she hears the woman is there? Does she try to arrange things where it’s just for two? Is she always texting, emailing or calling, and not to talk about guys? This could be a sign that she is trying to get closer.
This is especially true if she seems like she has never had a man in her life in a romantic sense. Inquire about past romantic relationships that were serious. Check out her social media. Does she post pictures of herself with only male friends and a lot of females? Does she seem to be surrounded by women a lot who aren’t relatives? What’s her body language like around them? All of these could be signs.
You would need to gather more information, though, such as whether she liked doing it, who initiated it, and the context surrounding what happened. If her past or present includes girl-on-girl porn, that’s another dead giveaway. If a woman enjoys watching a woman pleasure another woman, there’s a chance she’s imagining what it would be like to feel that way herself.
Bring up issues in the news like gay marriage to see how she reacts. Such issues can be contentious, but broaching them can give you clues about her sexuality. You could mention that you are gay or bi to see how she reacts. Recognize that being bisexual can be a very confusing experience for some people. She might be very unclear about any of it, so resist the urge to label and seek bottom-line pronouncements. Just gather information. [5] X Expert Source Marissa Floro, PhDCounseling Psychologist Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
For example, start by inquiring what she thinks of bisexuality. Or whether she’s ever found another woman attractive. Or whether she’s ever kissed a girl. If you show an openness and genuine empathy and interest in her experiences, without judgment or pressure, she may level with you. Don’t be over-serious. Ask in a casual, light-hearted way.
Such a person might be bisexual or they just aren’t sure. A bisexual person is clearly attracted to people of both sexes, not just in it to see if they are. [7] X Research source Of course, a bi-curious person could learn they are bisexual with more experience. Sexuality can be very fluid.
Insisting she must really be gay or implying that she’s bisexual because she wants to have a lot of sex with different people or insisting you can change her (and make her either straight or gay) are things to avoid. Don’t assume she’s bisexual because she doesn’t like or had a bad experience with men. Let her explain how she sees her own bisexuality. Let her define herself and her experiences. Make her feel comfortable talking about it. Tell her how much you respect gay and bisexual people and how many friends you have that are bisexual. Let her know that you think it is okay and that she can trust you Don’t make quick judgments about her. The bottom line is that, although there are some ways to get clues, there is no way to know for sure if someone is bisexual just by looking at them.
What’s her mood like when she sees you? If she becomes giddy, extra happy to see you, and full of smiles, that’s a good sign. Does she ever show jealousy? If she shows jealousy, such as when you spend time with another friend, that could be a sign she’s interested. Is she trying to get you alone or does she only hang out with you when other friends are along? If she’s always trying to get you alone, it might mean she wants to hook up with you. Does she have open body language (body facing toward the woman, palms up, feet pointing toward the woman) or closed (arms crossed over her chest, palms down, body facing away, etc. )
Persistent eye contact can be a way of creating intimate connection and to flirt. Also, you should pay attention to the amount of personal space she leaves between herself and other women. Is she trying to create a zone of intimacy?[9] X Research source Looking someone in the eyes and then glancing away is a sign of flirtation in many cases. People don’t usually lock eyes with people they only consider friends. [10] X Research source
If she goes for an androgynous look, or something like a suit-and-tie combo, she might have a bisexual vibe. Other clothing that might provide a clue would be low-slung pants, Calvin Klein briefs, and trendy fitted blazers. Keep an eye out for rainbow accessories or pins that show she’s out. Some hairstyles are more associated with being a lesbian than others, such as a barber’s cut or military cut. Short fingernails could also be a giveaway. However, absolutely none of these clues is surefire. There are many bisexual women who dress differently. It all differs on the individual. [12] X Expert Source Marissa Floro, PhDCounseling Psychologist Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
