If this person never talks about you behind your back, spreads rumors about you, or disappoints you repeatedly in other ways, they probably are your friend. [2] X Research source A good friend should value you as a person, not view your friendship as a series of transactions. [3] X Expert Source Christy Irvine, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 April 2021.
Think about a time when you were having a really hard time in your life. Was this person there for you? A true friend should be with you through the good, bad, and ugly. They should offer to help you however they can, and bring you back from the darkness into the light again. A true friend would never think of leaving you during a difficult time in your life. A fake friend, or someone who you are not close to, will probably only stick around when things are going well. They might even think or say that your problems are a burden to them. That’s the mark of a fake friend.
For example, even if your friend is away on vacation, they’ll still make time to call back and check in on you when you’re sick.
This goes both ways. If you call someone your “friend” but never seem to have time for them, you may need to reassess how important they are to you.
As a result of enjoying spending time together, you and your friend probably have a host of memories you’ve made together.
For example, your friend might push you to finish school, suggest that you mend fences with your estranged relatives, and inspire you to give back to others.
Try to really think about what you’re hoping to get from your relationship. Does this friendship look and feel the way you’d like to?[10] X Expert Source Christy Irvine, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 April 2021.
This element of communication between close contacts is often referred to as self-disclosure. You are more likely to disclose intimate details about yourself with a friend than you are with a total stranger or casual acquaintance.
Friends don’t have to pretend with one another like many people do in casual relationships. A true friend shouldn’t want to change who you are. They will accept and embrace everything about you, even your awkward and silly parts. This does not mean they have to agree with everything you do or say, but they should not bash you or try to change you.
Pay attention in your next conversation. Does your friend take the time to hear your message before responding? Even if your friend isn’t the best listener, it should be clear that they are trying to hear you out and not just talking about themselves.
For example, if you tell a friend that you don’t feel comfortable with them reading your diary or journal, they should respect your wish.
For example, if you forgot to call a friend back, they shouldn’t avoid you for several days. They should recognize that it was a simple mistake and not give you a hard time about it.
A friend should offer constructive feedback if you’re not doing what you need to be doing. For example, they may say, “You need to get up and study for your math test. Your grade is already low…Come on. I’ll help you. ”
