When your best friend treats you the same as any of their other friends, it’s unlikely that they’re interested in you romantically. A friend that treats you like they treated their exes may be interested. This can help you determine whether they are just being their normal friendly selves or if they are interested romantically in you.
When someone starts to become interested in someone romantically, they’ll want to spend more and more time with them. If you notice that the two of you are spending way more time together than you normally do, and that those hangouts start to feel like potential dates, they may be interested in you. You should also notice if they start to tell you how much they enjoy spending time with you one on one. This might be a way for them to try and tell you that they’re looking for something more than just friendship.
Pay attention to how much they laugh at your jokes or things that you do. If they laugh more frequently than usual, it might be because they like you. Friends aren’t awkward with one another, so if you start noticing that they seem shy and bashful about certain topics, it could be a sign that they’re interested in you. For example, they may become shy when you bring up school dances or dates that you’ve been on.
Since this is your best friend, they probably pay attention to what you say already. But, you may notice that they start to remember small details about your life that they would otherwise forget, like when you have a test or a special appointment. They might show you that they remember these things by wishing you luck or commenting when the day is here.
They compliment you frequently. They smile and gaze at you when they talk about you. [3] X Research source They touch their hair or face when speaking to you. They laugh at all your jokes, even when they aren’t that funny. They gently tease you or playfully poke fun at you.
If you start to notice that they consistently seem to be spending more time on their appearance when the two of you are together, they may be interested in you.
They maintain eye contact and gaze at you. They smile subconsciously while they’re talking about you. They try to be physically close to you by initiating physical contact. When you talk, their feet are pointed towards you. They mirror your body language when you two are speaking. They touch their hair and face while you’re talking. [6] X Research source
The type of physical contact that you have may start to be different as well. Rather than punching you on the arm affectionately, they may initiate a hug. Or, they may start to touch your knee or your arm.
They may try to “accidentally” brush against you when the two of you are close. This could mean that they are nervous to initiate other kinds of physical contact, like a hug, but they want to be near to you. If you feel uncomfortable with the amount of physical contact, you should let them know in a gentle and kind way.
If you are interested in them romantically, try to be honest with them about how you are feeling. If the signs are there, they might be interested in you as well. You could try to hint that you have a crush on someone to see how they react, or ask them if they are interested in anyone. For example, you could say “Jen, I’ve been thinking about our friendship a lot, and I think we could be really great together as more than friends. "
If you are interested in them, you can continue giving them signs that you are interested.
Do this carefully, you don’t want word to get back to your best friend that you’re talking about them behind their back. Only talk to friends that you really trust and who have a good perspective on the situation. You could also casually talk to one of their friends to see if they know whether your best friend is interested in someone. You could say something like, “Hey, I noticed that Zach hasn’t been talking about Caroline anymore. Do you know if he’s interested in someone new?”
Be sure you want the relationship to move onto a romance before asking. If you don’t, it’s better to just avoid the question and let the feelings slowly pass. If the best friend suddenly makes a move or comes out and tells you, then you can address it. If you want to ask, say something like, “I don’t want to weird you out, but I’ve noticed things changing a little between us lately, and wondered if it’s because our relationship has shifted a little bit. " This will give them an opportunity to share their feelings.
If your friend is scared to tell you, or is wrestling with their feelings, it may take some time for them to come clean about it to you. Be patient and compassionate, and don’t pressure your friend.
If they are interested in you romantically, and you don’t share the same feelings for them, they may need to take a break from your friendship. This will hurt, but they need time to process their own feelings and move on. Tell them that you do care about your relationship by saying, “Ben, your friendship means a lot to me. You’re a great friend and I’m glad that I have you in my life. I don’t have romantic feelings for you, but I hope that we can still be best friends. "
