For example, if your child seems more withdrawn than usual, doesn’t seem to enjoy doing many things, or says they feel overwhelmed, they might be at risk for cutting. They may also appear depressed, sad, or blue and seem to lack energy to do anything. Consider whether or not your teen is angry and how they deal with their anger. Teens who hurt themselves sometimes do so as a way to deal with negative moods, including anger. [2] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Ask yourself what coping skills your teen uses when he or she is feeling distressed. For example, does your teen often go off alone and then come back seeming like they are fine? This may indicate that they have done something to cope, and it is important to make sure that they are doing something healthy.
For instance, they might say something like, “My arms got scratched hiking in the woods” or “My friend’s cat scratched me. ” Marks that look intentional, such as rows of parallel scratches, are typically a sure sign that your teen is cutting. Keep an eye out for bloody tissues or bandages in the trash as well.
If your teen mentions self-harm, use it as an opportunity to start a conversation. Ask them whether they know anyone who self-injures and how they feel about it. This can give you a better idea of whether your teen is at risk for cutting.
For example, you might notice a burn mark on your teen’s arm, bruises on their legs, or that they are dehydrated and sore from over-exercising.
It’s normal to feel a lot of negative emotions if you find out your child is cutting. You might feel scared, angry, confused, and sad all at once. These feelings are valid, but it’s not a good idea to take them out on your child. Remember, your teen isn’t cutting to upset you. They’re dealing with their own painful feelings or an inability to deal with their feelings. A calm, compassionate approach will work best with them.
Use a warm, gentle tone. If you sound accusatory, your teen might get angry or defensive. If your child admits that they’re cutting, ask follow-up questions to understand them better, like, “What makes you want to cut?” “What does it do for you?” and “How do you feel after you cut yourself?”
It’s not your fault that your teen is cutting. However, if you take the right steps, you can be part of the reason why they stop.
Say something like, “I want to help you feel better however I can. If you ever need anything, or if you just want to talk, you can come to me. ”
You may still want to lock up razors and knives, but be aware that you probably can’t get rid of every sharp object in the house.
If you’ve ever been to see a therapist yourself, tell your teen about it. This will help normalize the idea for them. You may also want to go with your teen to therapy, but make sure that you allow your teen to lead the sessions.
For instance, offer to take a walk with your teen when they need to talk about a problem, or cut back on their household chores if they’re overwhelmed with schoolwork.
Emotional distress. Cutting may be used as a way to relieve pain, combat emotional numbness or “feel something,” distract from emotional pain, or even to distract from suicidal thoughts. A co-occurring disorder. People who have the highest risk for self-injury are those who have an eating disorder, developmental disorder, or a history of trauma. Personality traits. Teens who cut tend to be impulsive, have high emotional reactivity, high emotional intensity, and utilize avoidant behavior. Environmental factors. Teens who self-injure are also more likely to be bullied and have friends who cut.
