Has your daughter talked to you in the past about becoming sexually active? Does she have a steady boyfriend? Has your daughter engaged in risky behavior in the past? For example, if your daughter has a tendency towards sneaking out or substance abuse, she may also participate in behaviors like unprotected sex. However, keep in mind these are just general guidelines. Any teen can become pregnant if they are sexually active and have a functioning womb. You cannot gauge if a teen is pregnant based on her past history and behavior alone. Always consider other signs. Also keep in mind that if your daughter is afraid to tell you that she’s pregnant, she’s also less likely to be open about her sexual history.
Changes in appetite. Pregnancy often causes food cravings and/or nausea, the latter of which is commonly experienced in the first trimester and may lead to vomiting and/or be triggered by certain tastes/smells. You may notice your teen eating unusual foods, eating more (due to needing nutrients for the fetus) or less (because morning sickness, if she’s having it, can cause a loss of appetite) than usual, or rejecting foods she usually likes. However, if she is rejecting a food she normally likes and it’s not mealtime, she’s probably just not hungry, and if she’s nervous it might be normal for her to lose her appetite or even feel nauseated. If the aforementioned symptoms progress, though, or if they are accompanied by more dramatic symptoms, she could be pregnant. Be warned, however, because nausea and loss of appetite are also sometimes signs of illness, although normally she’d show other symptoms if she was ill. Increased fatigue. Fatigue is a common early symptom of pregnancy. Your daughter may complain frequently of fatigue and take naps more often. This could also mean she is sick, but again, there would likely be other symptoms present (such as a fever) if she were. Fatigue can also be caused by not getting enough sleep. Frequent urination. If you notice your daughter suddenly using the bathroom more often (unless she has taken diuretics or something), this could indicate pregnancy.
Keep in mind many teens take a few years to establish a regular menstrual cycle. Also, factors like stress can cause hormonal changes that result in a missed period. While unused menstrual products can be a sign of pregnancy, consider other factors before jumping to conclusions.
Teens are frequently prone to mood swings due to hormonal changes that happen during puberty and possibly stress from school and/or social life. If you notice changes in mood, watch for other signs of pregnancy before concluding your teen is pregnant.
Is dressing differently from usual (e. g. , wearing baggy or bulky clothes). Hides in her room more often than usual. Acts secretive. Is socializing differently from before (e. g. , spending time with a new boyfriend or a different set of friends).
Set a time to talk to your daughter when you know that you and she will not be too busy or stressed out with other concerns and obligations. For example, you might take her aside on a Friday evening after dinner, when she’s not worried about getting last-minute homework done.
You likely remember the pressure and excitement of being a teen. Was there anything different about your daughter’s experience from yours? Have there been any specific pressures put on her that might have contributed to her becoming pregnant?
Do not pre-judge the situation or your teen’s behavior. Even if you feel her becoming pregnant was reckless, try your best to leave this judgement behind. It will not help the situation in the present moment. [2] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source Even if your teen is displaying signs of pregnancy, you cannot know for sure without confirmation. Therefore, do not enter the conversation by saying something like, “I know you’re pregnant,” or “It seems like you’re pregnant. " Instead, ask. Say something like, “I’m concerned about some of your behavior. Do you think you might be pregnant?"[3] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source
Give your daughter non-verbal cues, like nodding on occasion, to show you are listening. Briefly paraphrase her words back to her when she finishes talking to show you heard what she said. If you have any questions about what’s being said, wait until she’s finished her sentence to ask. For example, you might say, “It sounds like you were really getting a lot of pressure from your boyfriend to have sex without a condom. Is that right?” Let her know that you empathize with what she is feeling. Say things like, “It sounds like this whole situation is really difficult and scary for you. ”
For example, you might say, “I’m really disappointed in your decision to have unprotected sex, but I want you to know that I love you and I’m here for you no matter what. ”
You might start by asking her, “What do you think you should do next?” or “Have you thought about whether you want to keep the baby?”
Ask her what she thinks throughout the conversation. For example, you can say something like, “I know when your Aunt Rose was in this same situation, she kept the baby. She thought it was the right thing to do for her. How do you feel about that?"[6] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source Help your daughter consider all the factors. Pregnancy can be overwhelming. Gently walk your teen through some of the decisions she’ll need to make down the road, such as choosing a doctor if she keeps the baby, informing other friends and family members of her pregnancy, and so on.
Letting your daughter make her own decisions doesn’t have to mean compromising your own values. For example, if you really want her to have the baby, you might offer to help raise the baby or provide financial support. Even if she doesn’t make the decision you were hoping for, you will still have done your best by being supportive and offering viable alternatives.
Your teen is probably already feeling bad and stressed out about the situation. Nagging or criticizing her now will not help matters. Therefore, it’s best to avoid telling what she should have done. Instead, try to be proactive and move forward in the present moment. [7] X Trustworthy Source National Health Service (UK) Public healthcare system of the UK Go to source Provide some reassurance. Tell your teen that while the situation is difficult, the two of you will work together to find a solution. It’s very important your teen feels safe when discussing her pregnancy with you. [8] X Research source
If there is a health center for teens in your area, you may want to take your teenager there to talk to a doctor or counselor. You may not have all the necessary information about abortion, adoption, and teen pregnancy at your disposal. Remember, allow your teen to make her own decision. Even if you have your own strong feelings about the situation, this is your daughter’s baby. She needs to make a decision that sits well with her.
What role will the father play in the baby’s life? Will he and your daughter stay together as a couple? Where will your daughter live after the baby is born?[12] X Research source Will your daughter finish high school or go to college? If so, can you or another family member help watch the baby or provide financial support for childcare while she’s in classes?[13] X Research source Are you able to assist your daughter financially? What about the baby’s father and his parents? Can they help out with medical bills and the costs of childcare?[14] X Research source
Your doctor or therapist may also be able to recommend support groups for teen parents and their families.
