It’s normal and healthy for both partners to enjoy time away from each other. [2] X Expert Source Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor Expert Interview. 18 January 2022. Don’t assume that your wife’s desire to have a “girls night” or go to happy hour after work is a sign she’s having an affair. If your wife uses social media often, check her profile on nights she goes out. If she’s posting pictures of girls night or happy hour, she’s likely telling the truth.
For example, let’s say your wife usually answers your texts while she’s in the office, but lately she hasn’t been responding. Talk to her about what’s going on. It’s possible she’s working on a big project and has been busy, but it’s also possible she’s spending time with someone else or is prioritizing their messages.
For instance, let’s say your wife says she had lunch with a female coworker but then complains that the same coworker has been out all week. This would be a red flag. Similarly, if she says she was late getting home because she had to go to the dry cleaners but she didn’t bring home any clothes, she could be fibbing. As a bonus, talking to your wife about her day will be good for your relationship.
For instance, let’s say your wife suddenly starts telling a lot of stories about her new coworker Marco. She may have a special relationship or interest in Marco. Before you jump to conclusions, consider how your wife normally talks about her friends. It’s possible that she’s just excited about having a new friend.
For instance, let’s say your wife typically works 40-hour Monday- Friday work weeks but suddenly starts needing to work overtime or weekends. Ask her about her current projects to see if the new work hours make sense, and watch your bank account to see if she’s getting paid for the time she’s working. Keep in mind that your wife could just be excelling in her career. If your wife has recently received a promotion or is hoping to get one, then she may honestly be working the extra hours. Don’t assume that she’s lying.
For example, you might notice shopping sprees, hotel rooms, or large cash withdrawals. Similarly, if she goes to girls night every Friday but isn’t spending any money, she might be going on dates.
For example, your wife might say things like, “I’m sick and tired of coming home to a dump,” “You never listen to me,” or “We never have fun together anymore. ” Ask her follow up questions like, “How can we work together to keep things clean?” “What can I do to show you I’m listening?” or “How does date night this Saturday sound?” This way you can address her concerns to hopefully improve your relationship.
Your wife may want more sex if she feels bad about cheating or is having an emotional affair that leaves her wanting sexual fulfillment. She may want less sex if a new lover is meeting her needs. Your wife may want different sex if she’s wanting to pretend she’s with a new person.
For example, let’s say your wife seems to be shutting you out. Go to her and say, “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been really quiet lately. I’d really like to talk to you about how you’ve been feeling. ”
For example, you might notice that all of her electronic devices have new passwords. [12] X Expert Source Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor Expert Interview. 18 January 2022. Additionally, she may start hiding her credit card or phone bills, and she may even get a new, secret credit card.
Watch her reaction to calls and texts. For instance, if she smiles really big or gets really excited, she may be texting a new partner. If you share a phone plan, review your bill to see if anything looks off. For instance, she might be calling or texting the same person daily.
Don’t assume that your wife is cheating just because she’s exercising a lot. She may just want to look and feel better for herself, or she could want to impress you.
Say, “I’ve noticed you’ve bought a lot of new clothes lately. Is there a special reason?” Then, listen to what she has to say. Remember, she may just want new clothes because she’s diving into a new trend or she’s recently lost or gained weight. Don’t assume she’s cheating.
It’s helpful to consider what’s been going on in your wife’s life. If she’s been dressing down for several years because she’s been busy with the kids but now she has more free time, she might be spending more time on her looks because it makes her happy.
Don’t assume that one incidence of her smelling like someone else is a sign she’s cheating. For instance, she may have a coworker who wears too much cologne.
