Instead of saying, “I’m actually busy this week,” for example, you might say: “I like you but want to be straightforward. I don’t think we’d be a great match and don’t feel like a second date is best. "
Avoid, for example, insulting phrases like, “Are you kidding? Our first date was awful! Move along, dude. " Disgust is not an acceptable response. Being liked is flattering, and asking someone out takes courage. Don’t purposefully hurt their self-esteem.
You might say, for example: “I’m flattered that you enjoyed our date, but I didn’t really feel a romantic connection. I hope I’m not hurting your feelings. "
If they begin to cry, stay calm and ask you how you can help. Do not offer them a date to stop them from crying. [3] X Research source
You might write, for example: “I enjoyed going out with you last week! You’re an amazing hiker. That said, I just didn’t feel the spark that would make me interested in a second date. " Don’t sugarcoat your words. Over-flattering them may give the person false hope. Write one or two compliments, then move on.
You might say, for example: “Hey, I had a fun time getting to know. Right now, though, I’m not interested in another date. Hope all is well!”
Instead of texting, “Thanks, but you’re not my type, buddy,” for example, you could text, “You are a sweetheart. I’m glad we went out, but I think it would be best if we didn’t schedule a second date. " Adding an emoji, like a smiley face, can help make the text feel less brusque. [6] X Research source
Ask yourself: what value will this friendship have for this person? What about myself? What is the best course of action for us both?
Examples of limits might be: no intimate physical contact, no asking for more dates, or no flirting.
Although this person’s feelings deserve to be validated, they do not inherently deserve to be reciprocated. Avoid people who feel “entitled” to another date.
