More isolation and less verbal contact can be a sign of declining interest. But, it might also signal changes in his personal life – maybe he’s very busy or has issues to deal with at home. It’s always best to reach out and ask directly rather than just assume he’s lost interest.
For example, if you go from talking on the phone for hours at a time to only speaking for ten minutes at a time, this can be a sign that he’s losing interest. He may try to shorten your conversations by ignoring your texts or calls for long periods of time before returning them, or saying that he has to stop talking but doesn’t offer a clear reason why.
He may even speak unkindly towards you, or say unfriendly things. This is a clear sign that he is not interested in you. You do not deserve to be around someone who treats you poorly or says harsh or unfriendly things to you. If he ever starts to say disparaging things about your looks, the things you do, or how you act, you should end the conversation immediately.
He may be trying to subtly hint to you whether he is interested or not. You should pay close attention to the things that he saying, as well as the way that he is saying things to you. Does he joke with you as much? A lack of humor might mean he’s feeling low – maybe depressed – or just a loss of interest in general. Also note whether he talks about trivial things or goes into deeper subjects. Avoiding topics of substance or talking about his feelings may mean he’s not interested. If he starts to talk about his relationships with other people, especially in a romantic way, he is letting you know that he sees you only as a friend.
If you notice that you are the only one suggesting things to do and making plans, you should hold back and see if he will start to try to make plans. He will make plans and try to hang out with you if he’s still interested. He may offer generic excuses to break plans, like that he has other things to do, without offering you specifics. You should be aware if he never gives you a clear answer about why he can’t hang out. He may try to be evasive about breaking plans. He could say things like, “I have plans with someone else” or “I can’t make it tonight” without offering a clear reason why he is breaking plans.
If he is treating you like he would any other friend, he is probably just being friendly to you and is not interested romantically. If he’s interested in you, he’ll treat you differently than he does his friends. Some men have more flirtatious personalities, while others reserve their flirting for people that they do care about, so try to differentiate whether he is the former or the latter.
He may try to move away from you, cross his arms in front of him, or turn away from you while you are talking. He may also try to avoid physical contact, like a hug or you touching his arm, he is not interested. If his eye contact is short and he breaks eye contact during conversations consistently, he may not be interested in what you’re saying. [5] X Research source However, some men are shy – this might just signal nervousness or shyness and not a lack of interest. Some body language cues that he is disinterested are: pointing his feet and body away from you, rubbing his neck, crossing his arms, looking at the floor, or angling his body away from yours. [6] X Research source
For example, the two of you may normally hug whenever you see each other. If he is no longer interested in you, he may stop hugging you, or move away whenever you try to hug him. Even if you two do still have physical contact, the type of contact can change when he loses interest. He may tap you on the arm instead of hugging you, which is a non-romantic gesture that most men use with friends.
For example, if he forgets your birthday even after you’ve been talking about it for a few weeks, he probably isn’t interested anymore. If he consistently forgets things that you tell him, like that you have an interview coming up or that your family is coming in to town, he may no longer be interested in the things that are important in your life. [9] X Research source He might also stop making surprising and meaningful gestures as he did in the past, such as surprising you with flowers or a random gift.
Try this for a week to see whether he begins to change. Do not contact him first and see whether he initiates conversations with you. He will either notice that the conversations have stopped and reach out, or he will not reach out and that will tell you that he isn’t interested.
Vice versa, notice if he asks you for advice about his romantic relationships with other people. This is a clear sign that he is interested in someone else and that he sees you only as a friend. If he starts to ask things like, “How can I get this girl to notice me?” or “What kind of date should I plan for her?” it’s clear that he has no interest in you romantically.
This can be scary and nerve wracking. No one wants to feel rejected and this is a vulnerable position to put yourself in. However, you may be reading his signals incorrectly or you may be missing signals that he thinks are clear. [11] X Research source You can broach the subject indirectly or directly. You can ask him, “Are you still interested in hanging out together, or would you rather just be friends?” This gets to the heart of the issue and gives him the opportunity to share what he is feeling.
Do things that make you happy. You can hang out with friends, cook your favorite meal, go for a walk outside, paint a picture, or watch a new movie.
It’s natural to grieve the loss of this relationship and your idea of what your future might be together. After you’re done grieving, move on from the situation by focusing on the other positive parts of your life. Keep the big picture in mind. It is hard for you, for sure, but there are many wonderful guys out there looking for relationships.
