Try asking him, “I am ready to start having sex with you, would you be into that?” or “How do you feel about becoming more intimate with me?” If you don’t like the idea of asking him to have sex, you could simply say, “I’m ready for us to start having sex, but it’s totally cool if you need more time. " Saying something like this provides him with the opportunity to take the next step or decline without too much awkwardness.

If you text him, you can be direct by texting something like “Wanna have sex later?” This text will certainly grab his attention but it is casual enough that you can play it off like you were kidding, just in case he says no. Or you can try something more suggestive, tell him what you’re wearing or go with the classic “What are you wearing?” This may lead to a steamy sexting session or phone call. When it feels right, ask him to come over and see what happens next.

Don’t feel like there’s an urgency for you to have sex. You should only do it because you want to, not because of societal pressures or your boyfriend want you to do. [6] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.

Do I feel like this is something I want?[7] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020. Do I want it for me, or am I doing it for my partner?[8] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020. How would I feel the next day after having sex?[9] X Expert Source Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWPsychotherapist Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.

If you don’t want to sound like you are trying to talk about your relationship you can ask him, “So what do you think you’ll be doing this time next year?” If you’re part of his vision for the future, then he is probably interested in something long term. If you want to be more direct with him, you can ask him, “Where do you think we’re headed?” Or if you just want to know if he considers you his partner or not, you can ask him “So what should I call you if any of my friends asks about us?"[12] X Research source