The way you deliver your message has to be tailored to the type of friend you’re dealing with. This will make the message more effective, and makes it easier for your friend to accept the truth. An example of a message tailored to this kind of friend: “I spoke to Lisa yesterday, and she told me she doesn’t like you the way you like her. Sorry. ”[1] X Research source

For these friends, an example delivery would look like: “So I talked to Greg. He doesn’t see you that way but you’re worth it, and you deserve someone who’ll think so. Now let’s do something to make you feel better!”[2] X Research source

With these friends, say something like: “Mary told me she doesn’t have a crush. It’s going to hurt for a bit, but you can get through this. Keep your chin up. ”[3] X Research source Remember—good friends structure their feedback in a helpful way that isn’t hurtful to others.

Introducing these news to this kind of friend will sound something like: “So I spoke to Bryan, and he doesn’t have a crush on you. Take your time, think about it, I’m here if you want to talk about it. ”[4] X Research source

If your friend lashes out and starts insulting their crush, tell them that while you understand how they feel, they should avoid using insults. Remind them that it’s not helpful or kind to lob insults, even when you’re in pain. [5] X Research source

If your friend asks why you told them, explain to that it’s for their own good; you didn’t want to see them pursue someone who’s not interested in them.

Help by thinking of solutions. If you can think of a better match for your friend, try to get your friend thinking about them instead. If your friend has a big project coming up soon, try to help them focus on that. [6] X Research source

Use compliments! Reinforce your friend’s qualities by saying them out loud. Remind them that these things make them a great catch, and that someone will see that too.

If your friend’s crush tells you they don’t like your friend, take a hint. Don’t try to change their mind, and be civil as you leave the conversation.

If you heard your friend’s crush making fun of them, or if you know for a fact they’re interested in someone else, you’re doing the right thing in telling your friend.

Remind yourself that you’re doing this for the right reasons. You want to save your friend the embarrassment and pain of pursuing someone who won’t return their affection. [8] X Research source