Depression in adolescents and teens can manifest in different ways. You might feel indecisive, fatigued, angry, or overly sad. You might also be struggling in school – disengaged with little motivation, trouble concentrating, and remembering things. [2] X Expert Source Lauren Urban, LCSWLicensed Psychotherapist Expert Interview. 3 September 2018. Recently, you may have pulled away from your friends and family and chosen to spend more time alone. [3] X Expert Source Lauren Urban, LCSWLicensed Psychotherapist Expert Interview. 3 September 2018. You may have trouble sleeping or sleep too much. You might also try to numb your feelings with drugs and alcohol, or engage in other risky activities. [4] X Research source Even if you aren’t so sure what you’re experiencing is depression, it’s best to speak up about your symptoms so you can get help.
Chances are, your parent(s) have already noticed something is wrong. They just don’t know what it is or how to help. By naming the problem, you will help them feel better and know how to take action.
You might say, “Ms. Anderson, I think I might be depressed. I don’t know how to tell my parents. ” This trusted person might call your parents in for a meeting so that you can break the news in a safe and comfortable environment.
If that’s the case, talk to the parent you feel most comfortable with first. That parent can help you tell the other parent.
Be sure you convey a serious tone, so your parents know that this is a real issue. Describe some of your symptoms, explain how they have been affecting your life, and ask to see a doctor.
Consider writing down some bullet points that you want to cover and have them with you during the conversation. This way, you’ll be able to cover everything even if you get emotional.
Are you going to hurt or kill yourself? How long have you felt this way? Did something happen to make you feel this way? How can we help you feel better?
If your parent(s) are busy, ask when is a good time. Say something like “I have something really important to talk to you about. When would be a good time for us to have a private conversation?”
You might convey seriousness by saying, “I have a really big problem, and I need help," or “This is hard for me to talk about. I really need you to listen. " In some cases, the opportunity to talk—and the seriousness of the issue—may present itself naturally. For instance, you might start crying and just blurt out your feelings, or you might be extremely frustrated with school and they ask you if there’s a problem. [12] X Research source
”I” statements may sound like “I feel really exhausted and gloomy. It’s hard to get out of bed” or “I know I’ve been cranky lately. I get really mad at myself, and I hate myself sometimes. I keep wishing that I could die. "
“I found some articles about depression. It sounds a lot like what I’m going through, and I think I may have it. " Be firm if they minimize what you feel by calling it “having the blues” or “feeling a little down. ” Tell them that you meet the clinical criteria for depression.
You might say, “I think I need to make an appointment with Dr. Rogers for an evaluation. ” A doctor can help you figure out whether you have depression for sure. Seeing your doctor is also typically the first step in getting treatment, or being referred to a mental health provider who can treat you. [14] X Expert Source John A. Lundin, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 1 August 2019. You might also ask your parents if there is a family history of depression or other mental health issues. This may help them see that you’re dealing with a problem with a genetic component.
If they are confused, say “It took me a long time to understand depression, too. " Remember that this is not your fault. You did the right thing, and this is the best way for them to find out. If your parents don’t take your claims seriously, keep telling them (or another adult) until they take action. [16] X Trustworthy Source Child Mind Institute Nonprofit organization providing evidence-based care for children with mental health and learning disorders and their families Go to source Depression is serious, regardless of whether your parents believe you.
Don’t feel guilty about being depressed and don’t try to protect our parents from worry and stress by holding back. Talking to them doesn’t mean you expect them to “fix” you. It just gives you an outlet for your emotions, and helps you feel less alone. Your parents would rather know that something is wrong, as opposed to wondering if something is wrong. Be honest about your feelings. This way, they can start helping you.
Make a list of ways your parents can support your treatment. For instance, they might go walking with you outdoors in the evenings, start a family game night to help you relieve stress, keep track of medication refills, or make sure you are going to bed at a decent time to be well-rested.
You might say, “I’d really like it if you came to my next appointment with me. ”
In these groups, your parents can learn more about how to support your depression treatment. Plus, they may also forge bonds with other parents and family members who are supporting their child’s treatment. The National Alliance on Mental Illness has peer and family support groups. Search for a NAMI chapter in your area to look for a support group you and your parents can join. [21] X Trustworthy Source National Alliance on Mental Illness Grassroots mental health-focused organization providing resources, support, and education for those affected by mental illness Go to source
Sometimes, parents are more likely to respond if your concerns are validated by a mental health professional or by an official diagnosis.
