Do you need your partner’s help staying sober? Has your drug addiction impacted your health, finances, or well-being?
Your partner may feel hurt or distrustful of you at first. They may need to work through negative emotions as they come to terms with your situation. The relationship change does not need to be a negative thing. You and your partner may end up closer than ever due to this confession.
Ask yourself if you think your partner will be able to handle the fact that you have a drug addiction. Will they judge you and change their opinion about you? Will they support you as you continue through recovery?
You may want to give basic details, like how long you used drugs and which drugs you used. You may want to save more specific details for later, once you have both moved forward and deepened the trust between the two of you.
Be respectful of your partner’s feelings and reactions. This news affects them, too. Your partner may not be understanding or want to help you at first. Stay positive and patient with your partner as you continue to help them get used to this news.
Try writing out a speech. You don’t have to read it, but thinking about what you want to say in its entirety may help you when you tell your partner. Make a list of bullet points with topics or points you want to make so you can make sure you cover everything during your conversation.
For example, don’t tell your partner when you only have a few minutes, when they are distracted, or when they have another engagement.
You may want to tell your partner, “I am recovering from a cocaine addiction. This has impacted my life in a lot of ways. I have to be careful in certain situations because they may trigger me into wanting to use again. "
Take all of your partner’s fears, concerns, and questions seriously. Try to understand where their questions and concerns are coming from.
Tell your partner why these triggers affect you. Your partner will understand more about your addiction and you if they can see how you react to things. Say to your partner, “I know that you like going to clubs and bars, but that situation triggers me. I find that I want to use when I’m in that environment. Can we find other things to do?”
Face all of the negative things you may have done because of your drug addiction. Going ahead and facing the pain and negative feelings can help you both move on and heal. You may say, “I’m sorry that my drug addiction caused you pain. I will try not to hurt you anymore in the future. ”
Your therapy may involve rehab or medication. You probably also have a combination of therapy, lifestyle changes, and support groups that you use to help you recover and manage your addiction. Say, “I have made a commitment to myself to recover from my drug addiction. These are the steps I am taking to recover. "
Couples therapy may be needed if you’ve tried to fix things on your own but haven’t had much luck. You may benefit from a professional. Suggesting that you go to couples therapy can help demonstrate that you are dedicated to your relationship and your partner. Make sure that you and your partner both seek individual therapy as well. It is important for you both to have a safe space to discuss your thoughts and feelings about your recovery process.
Support groups can also help your partner learn more about drug addiction and how they can help you cope. Support groups can also help them learn how to take care of themselves and their needs. At some point in your recovery, you may even want to expand your involvement in the support group to become an advocate. Advocating for the needs of people dealing with drug addiction can help you to feel empowered and continue in your recovery.
