For example, if someone asks, “How are you today?” and you’re about to respond with something that’s not true, stop yourself and tell the truth instead. Or, if you’re telling someone how well you did on your math test and you’re about to exaggerate, reel yourself in and be honest about your grade instead.
For example, if you’re watching a friend play a video game and you have a tip that might help them overcome a difficult level, this could be helpful to them and it’s okay to say it. However, if you’re watching a friend struggle to overcome a level on a video game and you are about to mock them for that, don’t say anything. Be aware that saying something hurtful isn’t the same as conveying an unpleasant truth, which might be meant to help someone. For example, if you are giving someone constructive criticism, then this can be helpful.
For example, if you’re about to compliment a friend on their presentation, go ahead. This will make them feel good about themselves.
For example, if someone is about to walk out in front of oncoming traffic, speak up to warn them immediately. Or, if your friend’s mom calls and asks you to tell them to call, tell your friend this as soon as you see them.
For example, if your friend shows up to your house wearing a flamboyant hat and dress, either pay them a compliment on their fashionable look if you think it looks good, or don’t say anything at all if you’re not a fan of the ensemble.
For example, if someone is telling a story about their weekend, give them your full attention so that you can ask them questions about it and comment sincerely on what they said. Don’t focus on what you want to say next while the other person is talking. You won’t really be listening to them if you do this and you might respond with something that doesn’t relate to what they were just saying.
It’s fine to simply say, “I need a minute to think about that,” if someone asks you a question.
It’s fine to simply say, “I need a minute to think about that,” if someone asks you a question.
For example, you could say something like, “What did you mean when you said you didn’t like the movie’s structure?” Or, you could say something like, “It sounds like you’re saying you want to go home because you aren’t feeling well. Is that right?” This tip can also be used to pass time to think.
If you need a longer break to calm yourself down, try excusing yourself to use the restroom or take a quick walk around the block.
It’s fine to pause to remove distractions. Try saying something like, “Hang on one minute. I just want to turn off the TV so I can give you my full attention. ”
Facing towards the person rather than angling your body away from them. Keeping your arms loose and at your sides instead of crossing them over your chest. Make eye contact with the person you’re talking to. Avoid staring off into the distance or looking around the room as this will send the message that you’re not paying attention. Keeping your expression neutral, such as by smiling slightly and relaxing your eyebrows.
For example, if someone asks you about your day, you might start by saying that it was good and list one good thing that happened instead of launching into a full recall of your day. Or, if you’re debating politics with someone, you could begin by offering your strongest point and its supporting evidence instead of listing off every reason why you hold the view that you do.
For example, you might say something like, “So basically, I had a very pleasant trip to Florida and I plan to go again next year. ” However, it’s also okay to end a story without summarizing it. When you’re done telling the story, it’s fine to just stop speaking.
