For instance, let’s say you catch yourself thinking, “No one likes me. ” Stop yourself and ask, “Why do I think that?” and “When have people shown me they like me?” You might recognize that the thought came from feeling insecure because of your depression, and you may remember all of the times over the past few weeks that someone has helped you, been nice to you, or asked you how you were doing. Finally, tell yourself, “I know people like me because they’re nice to me. ”
If it helps, write down your positive observations. For instance, let’s say you’re at school or work. Your brain might focus on observations like, “no one is including me in their conversation,” “there’s so much time left until it’s time to go home,” or “I’m not getting anywhere in life. ” Instead, you could point out, “I have lots of opportunities to people-watch today,” “my day’s just getting started, and I’m excited to see what happens,” and “this job/class is a stepping stone for where I want to go. ”
For example, let’s say you had the thought, “I’ll never reach my goals. ” You might picture yourself balling up that thought. Then, throw that thought and imagine a strong wind carrying it away.
Keep 2 different lists to separate the things you can do something about from the things you can’t help. For instance, you might add “fold the laundry” to your to do list. However, if you’re worried someone you know is ill, that might go on the worries list, since you can’t really do anything about it. When you have time, try to do the things on your to do list.
For example, let’s say your problem is that you feel lonely on a Saturday night. Instead of dwelling on it, you might start listing activities you can do, like watching a movie, going shopping, calling a friend, making a necklace, or chatting in an online forum. Similarly, your problem might be that you’re worried about not having money for your bills. Think of ways you can make a little extra money, people who might let you borrow money, things you might be able to sell, or ways you can cut back. Additionally, you might look up things you can do for fun that are free or browse job listings to see if there’s a better job you could apply for.
For instance, you might be grateful for your cat, sunny weather, peppermint tea, a cozy bed, and your best friend. It’s okay if there’s repetition on your list.
Comedies are a great option, but you might also try a stand-up comedy special. Stay away from dramedies or movies that make you “feel” something. Just go for pure laughs!
For instance, you might go walking, running, swimming, dancing, or cycling.
For example, you might try gardening, bird watching, cooking, fishing, carpentry, and photography, which all get you moving around. This is a great alternative if exercise just seems like too much. However, it’s even better to do your hobby in addition to exercise.
For example, draw, crochet, paint, sing, play an instrument, make crafts, write poetry, or write a story. Don’t worry about making something good. Just let your creativity flow.
When you’re feeling depressed, you might really want to stick to sad music, and that’s normal. However, listening to something with a higher tempo and upbeat mood will help you feel better.
Adopt a “pay it forward” attitude by doing something nice every day in the the hopes of triggering a wave of kindness. For instance, when getting your morning coffee, you might pay for the person behind you.
Stop and notice things you’re experiencing through each of your senses of sight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste. You might think to yourself, “I see the table set for dinner with food spread out to enjoy, I hear my cat meowing for a taste of the meal, I smell the scent of lasagna and garlic bread, I feel the warmth radiating off of the food, and I taste the sweetness of tomatoes. ”[14] X Expert Source Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MALife Coach Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.
Ask your friends or family members to help you stick to your goal of doing something fun every day. For instance, you might go out for coffee, see a movie, go bowling, go to a dance class, do improv, make art, go for a hike, go to a sporting event, or visit a museum.
If going out is impossible, invite a friend or 2 over to spend time with you. You might watch a movie, play a game, or just chat. Don’t worry about cleaning up or taking a shower. Your friends don’t care about those kinds of things.
You can find a counselor online or by getting a referral from your doctor. Your insurance may cover therapy appointments, so check your benefits before you go.
