If you feel that something’s missing or isn’t quite right with your life, talk to your doctor and, if recommended, get a referral to a mental health specialist. Narcissists find it extremely difficult to admit that anything is “wrong” with them, so this is definitely a difficult first step to take.
If people often tell you that you’re self-absorbed, have a sense of entitlement or an inflated ego, or that you lack empathy, fight your impulse to discard these views as jealousy or ignorance. If you can admit to yourself that there may be even a little bit of validity to these views, you may be able to summon the strength to seek treatment.
Some experts question whether it’s truly even possible to effectively treat NPD. At the very least, it’s clear that treatment requires a full commitment on both the patient’s and the therapist’s parts. There’s no magic pill (or any type of medication) that can “cure” narcissism, nor any other type of quick fix. You’ll probably have to embrace regular, ongoing therapy with a trained mental health professional.
Though it will be a very difficult admission to make, tell them that you know there’s a problem and you are trying to get help. If they offer to help you—by finding potential therapists, driving you to appointments, or providing moral support—fight your urge to reject them out-of-hand.
They’ll also probably ask you more about the symptoms you’re dealing with, and try to get a clearer overall picture of your mental health. They may also ask about your childhood and your parents, as well as any family history of diagnosed mental health issues, as these may contribute to NPD. [6] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source If they suspect NPD or another mental health issue, they’ll probably refer you to an expert in that field.
The expert will start by asking for more details about your symptoms, upbringing, and so forth, and may give you a verbal or written questionnaire to complete. In the U. S. at least, NPD is generally diagnosed based on the criteria laid out in the DSM (basically the diagnostic handbook for mental health professionals). NPD is less a single disorder than a continuum of disorders determined by the patient’s relation to the criteria. [8] X Research source
Focus on the reasons why you sought a diagnosis and the goals you have for treatment. If you want to have deeper and more fulfilling relationships with others, keep telling yourself that the goal is worth the effort you need to make.
If you are prescribed antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications, take them as instructed. But don’t think that taking your meds is a substitute for the psychotherapy you need in order to address NPD.
While it depends on their individual approach, there’s a good chance that the therapist will try to build an empathetic bond with you so that they can better see things the way you do. This doesn’t mean they’re trying to justify or approve of your behaviors, but rather that they’re trying to build their treatment strategies from your perspective. [12] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Defense mechanisms, for instance, can include mocking or belittling others, or figuratively or literally withdrawing from a situation when you’re challenged. You’ll also need to work together to identify the specific triggers for your defenses. Casting any doubt on your talents at work or your romantic prowess might be triggers, for example.
Based on your unique case, you might, for example, be advised to avoid highly-competitive circumstances at work, or to moderate your expectations when you begin a relationship.
CBT may, for instance, help you to become more empathetic towards others. Not all NPD experts utilize CBT, and it may not be ideal for your unique situation. It’s important that you work with your therapist to develop and stick to the plan that works best for your circumstances.
Additionally, your therapist might recommend group therapy, in which case you’ll be given the opportunity to interact with others diagnosed with NPD. It may be helpful to know that you’re not alone in your struggle.
