You might say something like, “Hey, I want to be a better partner to you. Do you have any suggestions on how I can do that?” Take notes on what he says and try to make changes as needed. Make changes that are realistic for you— you can’t become a completely different person, though.
Let him finish what he’s saying and then try to paraphrase what he said in another way. Improving your listening skills is in itself a solution for being a better partner. But good listening also helps you to hear it when he communicates how he wants to be treated.
For example, if your boyfriend is upset about a bad grade on a test, imagine how you would feel in his situation. What would you want from him if you were in the same place? Great partners are considerate, which comes down to practicing empathy.
Figure out how you’ll give and take space ahead of time, so neither partner feels hurt by the need to disconnect. Saying something like, “I need a moment" or “Can l get lost in my thoughts for a while?” should do the trick. In addition to taking space in the moment, you should also establish a routine of taking time apart to pursue your separate interests or hang with your individual friends and families. Don’t feel bad about spending time apart. Healthy relationships always involve some separation.
When you take good care of yourself, you are in a better position to improve yourself as a partner.
Choose different areas to focus on each time you compliment him— his looks, his abilities, his ideas, his treatment of others, etc. Be sure your compliments are always sincere. You don’t want to overdo it and say things that you don’t actually mean.
Overhearing these positive words (or having them get back around to him) will make your boyfriend feel good about himself and his relationship with you.
Say, “I don’t know what I would do without you” or “I love you so much" (if that’s true).
It’s okay to have separate interests, but sharing some or at least showing interest in those that are important to him will bring you closer.
Each week, compare your schedules and set aside time for just the two of you.
Tell him when you’re scared about not getting picked for the job you want or how frustrated you are about your relationship with your dad. If you disclose, your boyfriend is more likely to reciprocate. Spoon-feed disclosures based on how close (and serious) you are. Start small and work your way up.
