If you have become detached from your purpose, sit down and reevaluate the principles, people, and causes that drive your life. Make a point to fill your day with activities that bring meaning to your existence. If they don’t, toss them or delegate them. For instance, public speaking might fill you with anxiety, but you are more likely to push past this fear when you are speaking about a cause close to your heart. Add meaningful challenges to your day to take action against anxiety. [1] X Research source If public speaking still fills you with anxiety, take on smaller challenges first and build your way up to speaking in public. Do not start with your biggest fear or worry. Instead, start with smaller concerns to help yourself build confidence.
Let’s say you are worried about failing your algebra class. You can take action against this anxiety by creating an action plan to minimize the likelihood of it coming true. You might have steps like “Find a math tutor,” “Ask the instructor for extra credit,” or “Spend two hours studying each day. ”
For example, in the previous example, you might need to “Find a tutor” to improve your math grades. Don’t spend too much time analyzing how to obtain a tutor. Consider the simplest route forward and take it. Send an email to the tutoring lab at your school. Ask a clever classmate. Or, catch your instructor’s eye after class to see if they have a recommendation.
It requires vulnerability, but you may find that talking about the source of your anxiety with a trusted friend or acquaintance may help you view it more objectively. As a result, you might receive advice or encouragement that propels you from paralysis into action. Reach out to someone you trust and speak candidly. You might say, “Hey, Tom, I know this might come as a surprise, but I have a fear of heights. Our flight next week is really freaking me out. ” Don’t stop yourself from confiding in other people by overthinking it and assuming your friend will judge you. Choose someone you trust, and try talking to them.
Don’t let fear and avoidance make you complacent. Make an effort to build resilience by challenging yourself to face your anxiety regularly. For instance, if you loathe public speaking, you might benefit from signing up for a local Toastmasters club. Doing so will allow you to practice speaking in front of a group more often, which will reduce your anxiety. Don’t necessarily start with your greatest fear. Getting over smaller anxieties first can build your confidence.
”When this is over, I’ll be glad I did it” ”It’s hard now, but it will become easier with time. ” ”I will not let anxiety stop me from reaching my goals. ” ”Feelings come and go. This anxiety won’t last forever. ”
Let’s say you are hoping to ask the girl next door out on a date. You might beat the anxiety and give yourself courage by envisioning the result you want. Do this several times each day leading up to the big event. Close your eyes and imagine greeting her. She smiles when she sees you approach. You have a witty comment that gives you a surge of confidence. Then, you say, “I would really like it if you go to a movie with me on Friday. Will you?” She says, “yes. ”
Transform your anxiety into action by going for a run, lifting weights, having a dance party with your best friend, or going for a swim in the neighborhood pool.
Consider painting, writing, singing, knitting, baking, or even decorating. You may find that this activity becomes a regular hobby for you to find joy and fend off stress. [7] X Research source Get started in whichever way is most comfortable for you. If you want, you can join a class, but if that does not work for you, you can just install an art app on your phone or buy some starter kits from a craft store.
Research shows that anxiety places you in a “threat mindset” while excitement places you in an “opportunity mindset. ” Re-label your anxiety and you can benefit from the experience of enthusiasm rather than nerves. [10] X Research source The next time you enter an anxiety-provoking situation, don’t say “I’m nervous” or “I’m anxious. ” Say, “I’m excited” and see what a difference it makes.
For example, you think, “My parents won’t let me go to the party. All my friends will think I’m lame. They’ll stop talking to me. ” To assess the reality of this situation, you want to ask what evidence is there that says this is true? Did your friends actually call you lame? Are they avoiding you?[11] X Research source
Using the previous example, ask additional questions. Did your friends make alternate plans to hang out with you instead of going to the party? Are they still talking to you? If your friends don’t avoid you, odds are, they aren’t thinking anything negative. Your mind is just exaggerating the situation. A better way of thinking is “Not going to one party won’t ruin my friendships. There will be other opportunities to hang out. ”[12] X Research source
For example, you fear that one bad performance review will lead to you getting fired. Ask yourself: “How do I know that I will get fired?” “Is this worrying productive or just wasting my time?” “How can I cope with getting fired if it does happen?” Now, you might reframe your statement to “The worst that can happen is I will get fired, but that is unlikely. If I am fired, I will contact my network for any open positions. I can also update my resume. ” This is a much more active, realistic approach to worrying. Put your worries into perspective to make them seem smaller. For example,one “C” or “D” on a quiz does not mean that you will fail the entire course.
