Writing less frequently is better in achieving optimum results, so aim for writing once or twice a week. Try and focus your writing on people, and not things since focusing your gratitude on people tends to be more meaningful.
For example, you call up a friend and tell them that you plan on visiting them later that day. They respond that today wasn’t such a good day and that they will call you tomorrow to reschedule. You assume they are trying to avoid you. Instead of assuming, you could ask, “What happened for you to reschedule our visit?”
One type of catastrophizing is making a catastrophe out of a non-catastrophic situation. For example, that slight burning sensation isn’t a heart attack. You just ate an extra large Philly cheesesteak with the extra onions, green peppers, and jalapenos. It’s just heartburn. [6] X Research source Combat this type of thinking by reminding yourself, “I am causing my own suffering. Can I stop doing this?” This thought will remind you that you are responsible for creating your own worrying at the moment, and only you have the power to make it go away. [7] X Research source
Combat this type of thinking by taking notice of when it occurs. Jot down what happened, your thoughts on what happened and how you reacted and responded. You’ll begin to notice a pattern to your thinking. You can then reverse this type of thinking by engaging in positive self-talk. For example, you wanted to make a special dinner for your significant other but instead ended up burning the meal. You find yourself thinking that your significant other is going to be angry and the evening will be ruined. Instead, tell yourself that it’s okay because everyone makes mistakes. You can simply go out to eat someplace nice.
Write down your polarizing thoughts to help recognize your over dramatic thinking. When you put things in writing, it helps make your thinking more concrete and easier to analyze. For example, if you wrote down, “I missed the soccer game. I’m a horrible mother,” you might recognize that you were being too hard on yourself.
Acknowledging negative thinking doesn’t mean dwelling on it. Instead, you allow your mind to briefly accept that the thought has entered your mind, and then intentionally releasing the thought from your mind.
Freeing up your mind from negative thoughts makes space for other, more positive thoughts. With practice and time, you’ll notice that you’ll have a tendency to engage in more positive thinking. [14] X Research source
If you can identify that a negative thought is unreasonable, then it allows you to put things into perspective. If you conclude that your thinking is irrational, then you can cease engaging in irrational behavior. Finally, if your negative thought is unreliable, then you can recognize that it is unlikely to be true. [16] X Research source
For example, someone who is afraid of flying might be fearful of being in a plane crash. They might imagine themselves being the sole survivor of the crash, stranded on a deserted island and being eaten alive by a pack of wolves. Imagining their greatest fear can help them realize the absurdity of their fear. [19] X Research source
Try and connect with individuals who share some or your interests or who are already a part of your social and community groups, such as fellow church members or fellow coworkers.
To boost your self-confidence, say some positive affirmations to yourself. [22] X Expert Source Leah MorrisLife Coach Expert Interview. 19 June 2020. You might say something like, “I can do this. " “I’m a great friend. " or “I’m a kind person. "
When you have negative thoughts, change it to a positive thought. For example, instead of thinking, “I’m no good at dancing,” tell yourself, “I will get better with practice. ” If you’re negatively thinking, “I’m too tired to work,” change it to, “I will put forth my best effort even though I’m tired. ”[24] X Research source Like anything, practice makes perfect. It takes time to develop a habit, so the more you focus on engaging in positive self-talk, the more natural at it you’ll become.
