The person will likely be offended by your decision. This may even jeopardize your relationship with them or others.

Did you have a disagreement with the person recently and are choosing to withdraw the invitation for emotional reasons? Has there been an incident that caused you to doubt their ability to behave appropriately? Make a list of pros and cons for not having this person in attendance. A pro might be “avoiding a scene after they have too much to drink. ” A con might be “them causing a fuss if you take back the invite. ” Review your list to help you decide if revoking the invitation is the best course of action. Keep in mind that you can’t always take back the invitation. In some cases, not taking back the invitation will be the best course of action.

You might say, “I’m seriously considering uninviting Rachel from the barbecue. I heard about the fiasco she caused at the Andersons’ gathering the other week and I don’t want to have that kind of drama at my event. What do you think?”[2] X Research source

For instance, if your relative has trouble controlling their behavior when drinking, you might limit their access to alcohol or totally remove alcoholic beverages from the menu for all guests. If two relatives are at war with one another, you may be able to have both in attendance by separating them. Seat them far away from each other and assign a point-person to make sure contact is restricted. If you have a relative who tends to curse, tell inappropriate jokes, or start drama in some other way, decide if they might agree to modify their behavior for the event. For example, you might tell them, “Hi, Joel, I know you have a trouble reeling in that potty mouth, but there will be some conservative guests in attendance who aren’t comfortable with curse words. Can you be mindful of your language? If so, then I would love for you to attend. ”[3] X Research source

You might invite them out for lunch or coffee and have a chat. Say, “Uncle Tom, how about you and I go out for coffee on Tuesday. I need to talk to you about something. ” Choosing a public venue might decrease the odds of your relative becoming irate or making a scene. If your annoying relative lives out of town, arrange a time to talk with them on the telephone. Avoid uninviting guests through email or social media. Even if it’s hard, do your best to approach the issue in a mature way, which makes it more likely that you will be able to preserve your future relationship with this person. [4] X Research source

You might say, “I’m glad you chose to meet with me Uncle Tom. This is hard for me to do, but I know it’s the right decision. Since you and Dad are still on bad terms, I think it’s best if you don’t attend the wedding. My fiancé and I really want the event to be calm and low-key. And you two haven’t even been able to stay in a room together without arguing lately. I hope you understand. ”[5] X Research source Chances are, if this person has gotten into trouble for their behavior or have a history of inappropriate conduct, they will probably understand your decision. [6] X Research source

Instead of saying “I’m sorry” say something along the lines of “I don’t want to hurt your feelings. ” This demonstrates that your choice is made with good intentions while still showing that you stand behind your decision.

You might say, “I can see that you’re upset. I didn’t intend to hurt you, but I believe this is the best choice. "

Say, “Jessica, I clicked your name by accident when setting up the page for Samantha’s baby shower. It would have been nice for you to come, but we have to keep the guest list under 15 people. I’m sorry that this happened. ”

Even better, you might suggest that the person who made the mistake deal with the situation. Tell them, “I saw Regina the other day and she’s under the impression that she’s invited to the party. She tends to drink too much, and I’m worried that she will make a scene. Can you please uninvite her?”

For example, you overhear your cousin talking about what she will wear to your bridal shower. You might say, “Oh, Candice, I didn’t realize you were planning to come. The shower next weekend is going to be just for coworkers. But, I’d love to get together with you some other time, just the two of us. ”[7] X Research source

Stand firm in your decision, even if it means a few people not agreeing with you.