Religious beliefs. Desire to find the right person. Getting to know someone emotionally before sex. Avoiding complications, like STDs or pregnancy. Taking the relationship slowly. [2] X Research source
If you were to have a physical relationship, what kind of things would be okay with you? What would you find acceptable, and what would you rather avoid?[4] X Research source
Most of the depictions are fake, fictional accounts of sex. The promise of “life-changing sex” is not reality, and you should remember this if you feel pressured to become sexually active. [6] X Research source
“I’ve really enjoyed talking to you, but I’d like to slow things down a bit and get to know you more. " “Thanks for the offer. I’ll be going home alone tonight, though. " “I’m not interested in hooking up tonight, thank you. "
Let your friends know your feelings so that they can support you in any intense situations. You do not owe anyone an explanation for your decisions. Keep your explanations brief, firm, and to the point if you decide to give one.
If your partner is angry, upset, or tries to convince you to change your mind, they may not have your best interests at heart. You want to be with a partner who accepts you and your decisions. “I’ve decided to wait until marriage for sex, and I wanted to find out together how we can make that work. " “I really enjoy spending time with you, and I’ve decided I want to wait on sex for a while as our relationship grows. "
Small things, like holding hands and hugging, are much more meaningful when taken slowly. [10] X Research source
Have dates in public. Move to separate rooms or beds late in the night, and avoid sleepovers. Find activities together instead of simply “hanging out. " Keep your relationship active.
Time to know one another. Great respect and emphasis on small acts (hand-holding, kissing, etc. ) Avoid confusing lust for love.
The “three-date rule” about waiting in a relationship is an archaic, overly-simplistic rule. You should feel comfortable with your partner before having sex no matter how many dates it takes. [12] X Research source
Talk to your partner about your changing viewpoints instead of making them guess. Your decision to become sexually active should be made together.
The only key to trust is open communication. Not just about your sex life, but about your entire relationship. [13] X Expert Source Jacqueline HellyerLicensed Psychosexual Therapist Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
How do you feel when you are with this person? Are they caring and kind? Does this person respect you and your opinions? Have you talked together about whether or not to have sex yet? Do you have access to birth control methods? Do you feel pressured to have sex just to please your partner, or do you really want to have sex.
