Even if you’re not feeling confident, try acting confident with body language. Stand up straight while you’re walking or sitting. Avoid standing with your arms crossed. Instead, put your hands on your hips. Just smiling, even if you force it, can help you feel instantly happier and more confident, as your brain releases endorphins. [2] X Research source Stop negative thinking. It’s normal to have self-doubts, but you can overcome them. Every time you start having negative thoughts about yourself, stop yourself and re-frame the thought into a positive or neutral one. For example, if you find yourself thinking “I am so worthless,” think instead, “I am really valuable to myself and others. ”[3] X Expert Source Sydney AxelrodCertified Life Coach Expert Interview. 30 June 2020.
Educate yourself about what is happening in the world: advances in science, medicine, politics, art, and current events. This keeps you in touch with what is going on. Try to learn a new skill, such as knitting, speaking a foreign language, or understanding astrophysics. Reading books and articles, watching the news and documentaries, or doing online tutorials are all great ways to keep learning.
Your attitude toward life shapes how you experience things. Let go of your expectations and accept life as it is. This will empower you to handle whatever comes your way. [6] X Research source Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. When you do make a mistake, ask yourself how did things go wrong, what did you learn from it, and what will you do differently next time? To learn from your mistakes, you must first take accountability for them. Acknowledge where you went wrong so that you can fix it.
Take small steps to get better. If you have social anxiety, for example, your small step could be talking to 1 unknown person a week or making 1 phone call per week. You can eventually work up to going to an event by yourself or dealing with people on a regular basis. Try to do something that pushes you each day. Even small shifts can end up making a big difference in your life. [8] X Expert Source Sydney AxelrodCertified Life Coach Expert Interview. 30 June 2020.
Think about your values—what really lights you up and gets you excited? What do you want to be remembered for? Then, try to figure out what you can do that aligns with that. [10] X Expert Source Sydney AxelrodCertified Life Coach Expert Interview. 30 June 2020. If your job isn’t your passion in life, try to think of all the positive benefits of it. Make a list of all the good things about your job, such as having coworkers you like, making a difference in people’s lives, or making enough money to buy a house. Don’t feel like you necessarily have to make big changes all at once. You can still incorporate your passion into your daily life. For instance, if you love acting, you might not be able to quit your job and move to Hollywood, but you might find that you enjoy acting in a local community theater. [11] X Expert Source Sydney AxelrodCertified Life Coach Expert Interview. 30 June 2020.
Being grateful affirms that there are good things in life, even if not everything is good at the moment. For example, if a loved one has died, you have every right to be sad. Instead of focusing on their death, however, focus on how grateful you were to have them in your life. Keep a gratitude journal. Jot down all the little things that happened throughout each day that you were grateful for. This will create a habitual practice of gratitude.
Meditation is a great way to get started with mindfulness. For 15 minutes each day sit quietly somewhere. Breathe deeply, and focus only on your breath. If you get distracted, return your attention to your breath. You can also practice mindfulness while eating. Notice what you’re eating: the texture (smooth, crunchy, chewy), the taste (is it salty? Is it sweet? Is it spicy?), the temperature (hot, cold). Try avoiding distractions, such as TV or reading, while you eat. Mindfulness can help with depression and anxiety, reduce your stress, boost your memory, increase your focus, and create better emotional stability.
Make the choice to not react to things in a negative or destructive way. For example, if your friend said something mean about you behind your back, don’t get try to get revenge or snap at them. Instead, ignore the comment or politely confront them. While you cannot always control what happens to you in life, you can control how you react to it. For example, if you get diagnosed with a disease, instead of saying “why me?”, let it galvanize you to live the life you’ve always wanted.
Make sure that you take time out to maintain your important friendships, like going out for a quick coffee date, or even just sending them a letter or email asking how they are. Avoid toxic personalities or bad friends. People who don’t listen to you or who treat you poorly simply aren’t worth spending time with. Just let the association fizzle. Appreciate the people who have your back. Make sure the people that you love and trust know how you feel about them. Remember that not everyone will like you. It’s not worth it to worry about the people who don’t care for you or don’t care about you. Instead, focus on strengthening relationships you have with the people who like you for who you are.
Don’t compartmentalize your life. Be open with the people you care about.
If you’re having a hard time, or even if you just need a hand moving a couch, ask your trusted friends. If they are actually good friends, they will be more than willing to give you a hand. (And if not, well, now you know they aren’t that good a friend. ) If you are feeling depressed, anxious, or down on life, consider talking to a mental health professional who can help you cope with life’s struggles.
For example, if someone says something mean to you, instead of being mad at them for several days, try to let go of your anger. If you feel as though you must confront them, say something like, “Hey, I was really hurt when you said that I looked like a dog. ”
Don’t believe you can change someone. If you feel as though you constantly need to change someone, they aren’t right for you. Likewise, if someone acts abusively towards you, you need to get out, even if they say they’ll change. Your romantic partner should be someone that you should trust, who makes you feel confident and important. There should also be mutual respect between the 2 of you. If you’re single, enjoy it! Think about the benefits of singledom: the only desires you have to consider are your own, you can focus on yourself, and you get to spend more time with your friends.
Even if you have very little, give what you can. This can be something as simple as a $1 or $5 donation to a Kickstarter Project that you think is important, or you can find a way to do this without using money, like giving your time to a cause you find important, etc. Do things for the people in your life. If your mom or husband does all the cleaning, give them a hand each week to make it easier on them. Offer to babysit your brother’s kids, or give your grandfather a ride to his doctor’s appointments.
In some cases, life just isn’t fair. That’s a normal experience that everyone deals with at 1 time or another. Remind yourself of the statement, “You do you. " The only one you should compare yourself to is yourself. Ask yourself how you’ve grown from yesterday, or what you’re doing now that you weren’t doing in the past. Honor other people’s accomplishments without thinking how they show you up, or how they are so much better than you. For example, if your friend just got a prestigious scholarship, don’t think “I’m so stupid, I could never get that scholarship. ” Instead, think, “My friend worked so hard for that scholarship. I’m so happy for her. ”
Try “active listening. " Rephrase what the other person is saying to show that you are listening. Maintain eye contact with the other person as they talk. If you find your mind wandering during the conversation, ask for clarification from the other person. You can even phrase this nicely: “I was just thinking about your last point, could you repeat what you just said. " Do not start checking your phone when you’re having a conversation with someone. If you’re waiting for an incredibly important text or phone call, let the other person know.
Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Eat at least 5 servings a day of each. Go for lean rather than fatty meats, and make sure to eat fish, poultry, eggs, soy, beans, and nuts. These give you healthy fats and protein that make you feel energetic and strong. Eat the right carbohydrates, because they will provide fuel that you’ll need to make it through the day. You’ll want to eat nutrient-rich, high-fiber carbohydrates like quinoa, oats, brown rice, whole wheat to win in life. Avoid eating too much sugary, salty, or processed foods. [24] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Ideally, men should drink about 15. 5 cups (3. 7 liters) a day while women need 11. 5 cups (2. 7 liters) a day. Use a water bottle with measurements on the side to help you get enough. Tea, coffee, flavored water, or skim milk are other great ways to get enough fluids.
Turn off all electronics 30 minutes before bedtime. The light from electronics can make it difficult for you to fall asleep. Practice soothing rituals in the evening before bed, such as drinking chamomile tea, reading a book, or taking a bath. Teens need more sleep than adults. If you’re a teen, aim for 8-10 hours a night. [27] X Research source
To keep your body in tip-top shape, do more vigorous exercise 2-3 times a week. This might be running, lifting weights, or kickboxing.
Schedule your “me time” every day, whether it’s a short break or a longer block of time. Give yourself time to do a favorite activity, or time to relax and do nothing. For example, you might do a mini-facial at night, take a bubble bath, work on a craft project, do some yoga, or practice aromatherapy. It is okay to treat yourself. Buy yourself that book you’ve been wanting, eat that piece of chocolate cake, or take the weekend and go on an adventure to the next town! You owe it to yourself! Remember not to put yourself last. Being selfless can be great, but not to the point that your happiness is being completely shattered. For example, you don’t need to always make dinner or you don’t need to always need to take on all those projects at work.
