The inverted pyramid is especially important for online content, since its readers are less likely to read a story in full. Also, having the most relevant information at the beginning increases the story’s chances of popping in keyword searches. This technique is also referred as “front-loading. ”
Summary lead: “More than 200 firefighters fought a six-alarm fire that destroyed 36 homes and six businesses on Myrtle Avenue in the Ridgewood section of Queens late Sunday night. ” Experimental lead: “Residents of Queens watched on in horror as more than 200 firefighters fought a six-alarm blaze in Ridgewood late Sunday night. The fire tore through six buildings along Myrtle Avenue, destroying a half-dozen businesses and 36 overhead apartments. ” ”Leads” may also be spelled as “ledes” in the news industry. [3] X Research source
“What began as a grease fire in the kitchen of Tony’s Restaurant at 1411 Myrtle Ave quickly spread to neighboring buildings due to Sunday’s high winds. " “The M train’s elevated tracks along this stretch of Myrtle Ave further impeded firefighters’ ability to access the burning rooftops. " “The NYFD evacuated the entire block immediately upon arrival in case the blaze spread any further. "
“‘I just got home from work and went straight to bed,’ said Maria Sanchez, resident of 1421 Myrtle. ‘Then all of a sudden my husband’s shaking me back awake and saying that the whole block is burning down. ‘” “‘This is the worst fire this neighborhood has had in some time,’ said Fire Commissioner Joseph Hernandez. "
To further avoid large blocks of text, keep your sentences short as well. Use 30 words or less per sentence. Rewrite any dependent clauses so that each one becomes its own sentence. [7] X Research source Paragraphs may be referred to as “graphs” in news reporting.
Reread the whole article, minus your last couple of paragraphs, to verify that it still makes sense without the additional info. If key information is lost, rewrite the article to include that information toward the beginning. An example of a fitting end that could be cut if needed: “‘My brother’s been letting me crash here with him after my last landlord sold my old building to developers,’ said Brian Guiliano, 27, whose brother, Vincent, lately resided right next-door to Tony’s Restaurant. ‘I don’t know where I’m supposed to go now. ’”
Good example: “This was one of the worst I’ve ever seen,” said Richard Sloan, firefighter. Bad example: The six-alarm fire was “one of the worst I’ve ever seen,” said Richard Sloan, firefighter.
For example, say that your original quote reads, “I only had my underwear on. I was just sitting there watching TV. Then the firemen started knocking on doors. When they knocked on mine, they, you know, they told me not to waste time, just come now, so I ran out in just that. Some kind lady on the street saw me, ran home, brought me back her bathrobe. ” Now say that, due to space, you only want to use: “When they knocked on mine, they, you know, they told me not to waste time, just come now, so I ran out in just that. Some kind lady on the street saw me, ran home, brought me back her bathrobe. ” Edit the quote so it reads: “When [the firemen] knocked on [my door], they … told me not to waste time, just come now, so I ran out in just [my underwear]. Some kind lady on the street saw me, ran home, brought me back her bathrobe. ”
A good direct quote: “One second it was just Tony’s on fire. Then it was like I just blinked and then whoosh, all the other buildings were up in flames, too,” said Brianna Johnson, neighbor. A quote that should be paraphrased: “The fire spread quickly because of last night’s high winds,” said Fire Commissioner Joesph Hernandez. A paraphrased quote: Sunday night’s high winds caused the fire to spread swiftly, said Fire Commissioner Joesph Hernandez.
Synonyms to avoid include: admit, announce, argue, claim, declare, insist, promise, pronounce, reply, retort, shout, and vow. Use the term “according to” if your source agrees to provide information, but refuses to be quoted. Also use “according to” when referencing documents.
If you attribute multiple pieces of info to one source, include their full name plus any relevant title the first time you mention them (“Fire Commissioner Joesph Hernandez”). After that, only use their last name (“Hernandez”) and the appropriate prefix (here, “Mr. ”) if required. Some news outlets may prefer using the last name without a prefix. When composing a paragraph, avoid sticking other material in between two pieces of info from a single source. Doing so will force you to cite your source twice in one paragraph, which will sound repetitive. The only times you do not need to attribute information to a direct source are: if you yourself are an eyewitness; if you are able to prove that the info is true; if the info is already public knowledge; or if three other publications have already reported it to be true.
If the original writer followed the inverted pyramid, there may be info in the original lead that isn’t repeated in the text that you read. Don’t worry if your lead doesn’t include that precise info. Compare your lead to the original only to see how well each one summarizes the text that follows.
Look for adjectives and verbs that overstate what actually happened. For example, describing your favorite quarterback’s performance as “amazing” is unwarranted if all of their plays went by the book. Watch out for words with loaded meanings that suggest bias. For instance, if you are writing about a crime, avoid using terms like “thug” to describe the perpetrator, since this implies a judgment on your part. Check to see if you have represented all sides fairly. If you are covering a political debate, for example, make sure you haven’t just highlighted all of your favorite candidate’s high points and all of their opponent’s low points.
Use active verbs instead of passive ones. For example, “The candidate visits New York today,” instead of, “The candidate is visiting New York today. ” Identify clunky word structure and run-on sentences by reading the article out loud. Use Twitter or the word-count feature to train yourself to write short, crisp sentences. [16] X Research source
