Try reaching out by saying something like, “I was wondering if you would be interested in corresponding with me while you’re there. I would like to send you some letters, if that is alright with you. ” Consider writing to any family members or other loved ones who is incarcerated. Remember that they may not want to correspond with you and that’s okay. It’s their choice.
Only write to a prison inmate that you know if your intentions are positive and helpful. Also keep in mind that there are restrictions about what you can and cannot write about to inmates. You absolutely can’t write to a prison inmate with the intent to blackmail them – this will definitely get you into some trouble. You also can’t include any contraband items, like nude photos.
Additionally, you could get in contact with other family members or close friends of the inmate to see if they already have the inmate’s address. When you address the envelope, be sure to write legibly and include all of the required information to ensure your letter is delivered. The address will probably include the inmate’s correctional facility identification number, so you’ll need to include that as well.
Tell them about significant events in your life like birthdays and graduations. Let them know how your social and family life is going – like if you are dating someone new or a funny anecdote about how your child is driving you crazy.
Try to find someone with common interests so that you can have something to build on in conversation. Make sure you choose an inmate with the same expectations as you. You don’t want to pick someone who is looking for a romantic relationship if you are not interested in that as well.
Some such programs provide educational or tutoring support for inmates.
To make sure mail does not get lost, put your pen pal’s last name and correctional I. D. number on the back of each page or picture.
You can also give some words of encouragement and respond to things in their personal ad if they have one, like their love of reading for example.
Consider using a post office box or mailbox, rather than a home mailing address, when writing to your inmate pen pal. Limit what personal information you include in your letters. You can send plenty of stories and details without sending information that might compromise your personal security.
Treat your inmate pen pal with as much kindness and courtesy as you would anyone else in your life.
Try asking them about their hobbies, interests, favorite music, favorite books, etc. Steer clear of more serious questions until later in the relationship, especially questions about their possible criminal offenses (what they are incarcerated for).
Since prisoners’ email must be thoroughly screened before being distributed, it can often take much longer than regular mail.
Try to watch your language in your letters and anything else you send to the jail. Prisons frown on overt inflammatory language, and some strictly forbid it. Do not send unapproved gifts, information about other inmates, or any other unauthorized items. This would create problems for the prisoners. Check with the inmate you are writing to and verify with the prison’s official guidelines before sending any items. Make sure you follow any special mailing guidelines that may be required for inmate mail. Again, this information should be listed on the prison’s website.
Try sending a greeting card. Greeting cards can be a great way to make someone feel special; you can find so many friendship cards to send a “hello. " This can take the pressure off of you worrying about what to write, especially in the beginning.
Of course, only send a picture if you feel comfortable doing so. Make sure any photos you send are appropriate (no nudity or lewd content), otherwise they’ll get confiscated.
Listen to them talk about their problems if they want to, but encourage them in the right direction.
