A good friendship is balanced, with both people putting in about the same amount of effort and energy. If you’re always rescuing someone or feel like you’re constantly being needed, that’s not a great sign. A good friend also grows and evolves with you, and isn’t stuck in negative patterns.
“Has an annoying laugh”, is less significant than “always interrupts me”, or “isn’t there when I need them”. Compare the lists and mark the points you have written “serious” and “trivial” to get a clearer picture.
Compare the two lists and pick out the most significant things. “Accepts and likes me for who I am”, “we always have loads of fun”, and “completely trustworthy” are examples of excellent friendship indicators. [2] X Trustworthy Source TeensHealth Website run by Nemours, a nonprofit children’s healthcare system, for the purpose of providing teens and young adults with specific health resources Go to source If you write the positive list last, it will leave you with a warmer feeling about your friends.
You can be specific and say what you like about each and try to point out what they like about each other at the same time. “Ella, I really like hanging out with you because you’re so laid back. Sally, you’re really funny and I like joking around with you. " Point out that the three of you make a good combination and be positive.
Say something like, “I know it’s hard for you, but it’s horrible for me to be stuck in middle of you. I want to be friends with both of you, and the whole situation is upsetting for me. " Be patient and you might help them to put it all in perspective.
People who make us feel good about ourselves, and validated in who we are, are often those whom we will be good friends with for a long time. [3] X Research source
It takes courage to say no to this kind of peer pressure, especially from close friends, but if you think it’s the right to do, do it. [4] X Research source Say something like, “I’m sorry, but you’re upsetting me by trying to make me choose. " Or, “we’re not having any fun, so can we just move on?”
You could say, “actually, I think she can be really kind, but nobody’s perfect all the time. If you think she’s really annoying, that’s too bad. "
Say something like, “I know you’re upset, but can’t we talk about something else? Maybe we could just go and do something fun and forget about it for a while. " Politely but firmly change the subject if you have to. If you just get back to having fun together, the fight might start to seem a lot less important.
Figuring this out at the start might mean you can find a way around choosing, and can reconcile the situation instead.
Bear in mind that your parents’ main concern will be you and your happiness and wellbeing. You could also talk to other friends about it, but be sure that you can speak in confidence.
