Just taking a few minutes to yourself can help you regain your composure and approach the issue with a clear head.
Show her empathy and remind her that you love and care for her. You might also say, “I can imagine that this may be very upsetting for you. What do you need from me?”
For example, you might say, “Right now, I’m feeling scared because I don’t know how this will affect her college education. ” Don’t feel guilty about the feelings that come up. Just name them and experience them without judgment.
Self-care helps you manage your stress so that you can adequately provide support and guidance to your daughter.
Explain the circumstances to the person and ask them for support and/or advice. Don’t talk to someone you know will be a negative influence on either you, your daughter, or the situation. Choose someone you know you can trust to be empathetic. If you know another parent who has dealt with teen pregnancy, they may be a great sounding board. Getting social support from others can help you realize that you’re not alone in dealing with this, but it will also help you deal with stress—so that you don’t take your emotions out on your daughter.
You might see a counselor alone to help you work through your feelings and figure out how to best support your daughter. However, your daughter should also speak with a counselor who can help her work through her own feelings and figure out how she wants to move forward.
Look up support groups in your area that specifically cater to your circumstances. You might also ask your daughter’s guidance counselor or doctor for recommendations. You might attend such groups together to offer your daughter moral support.
Your doctor will also prescribe prenatal vitamins and make recommendations for how your daughter should adjust her diet and activity levels to support her health.
Be sure she gets thorough information on a range of options, so she fully considers the potential challenges and emotional impact of them all before making a decision. Try visiting a family planning clinic such as Planned Parenthood in your local community. You might also review good sources like the American Academy of Pediatrics policies on teen pregnancies, at https://www. healthychildren. org/English/ages-stages/teen/dating-sex/pages/Teenage-Pregnancy. aspx. Avoid pushing your own views off on her. Try to support her choice, no matter what she decides.
Try not to blame or ridicule the father. Remember, he is not solely responsible for the pregnancy. However, if the pregnancy was the result of non-consensual sex, take appropriate steps to protect your daughter. You might consider pressing charges or getting a restraining order, but be sure to include your daughter in the decision-making process.
Ongoing support from doctors, other healthcare providers, social workers, and counselors will also be useful in helping your daughter prepare for parenting.
