When you compare yourself to others, you’re never fair to yourself. That’s because it’s easy to see what others have that you don’t, but it’s hard to recognize what’s great about you.
Write down all of the bad things that happened while you were together. [3] X Research source Think about all the ways they let you down. You may struggle more to acknowledge the reasons for the breakup if your ex is the one who broke up with you. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel hurt, upset, or bewildered by a breakup that caught you off-guard.
Try something you’ve always wanted to try. Do the things you used to enjoy before your relationship with your ex, such as girls’ night, hot yoga, or taking an evening art class.
It’s okay to vent on occasion, but don’t let all of your conversations turn into rants about your ex. If someone changes the subject, don’t try to change it back to your ex.
It’s okay if you need to cry sometimes.
Choose the people you trust the most. Try to avoid talking to mutual friends, as they might inadvertently mention details about your ex.
You could keep a paper journal or a digital journal, depending on which you prefer.
Let go of your anger and resentment toward your ex. Holding onto anger only punishes you. Remember the good parts of your relationship, as well as the lessons you’ve learned. Although they hurt you, some good likely came from the relationship. Talk to someone about your feelings, such as a friend or therapist. Writing in your journal can also help you work through these feelings. You might even write a long letter to your ex about how they hurt you. Burn it or throw it away instead of sending it. You don’t need to let the person back into your life. With forgiveness, you can actually let go of them forever, if that’s what you want. Don’t let one bad experience prevent you from finding happiness with someone else.
If they keep texting you or you feel tempted to text them, block their number. If you must stay in contact with them because you share children, keep your communications focused on your children.
If they ask you to be friends, tell them you need space. Say, “I’ll think about it, but right now I need to do my own thing. I need my space. ”
It’s okay to taper off your social media contact with them, if it’s too hard to hit unfollow. However, you need to eventually break those ties. Additionally, resist the urge to ask mutual friends about what they’re doing. You might even unfollow some of your mutual friends who often post about your ex until you’re over the breakup.
Seeing them out on a date would hurt, so don’t risk it. Visit places you used to enjoy before you dated them. Set a goal to try out all the cool new places you’ve never tried before.
Write down how each relationship has improved you. Recognize the work you put into the relationship.
To use positive self-talk, notice when you’re telling yourself negative things. Replace those thoughts with honest, positive statements. You can also use positive affirmations. Date yourself! Go to the movies, go out for coffee, eat dinner in a nice restaurant, go for a nice walk in the park, or get tickets to a concert you’ve always wanted to see.
Make a list of everything you want in a relationship and how your ex didn’t fulfill those needs. If you broke off the relationship, remember why you wanted to part ways.
Break your goal into small, manageable steps. For example, if your goal is to run a marathon, you might start by training for a 5K.
Go out for lunch. Spend time on a hobby. Do something relaxing, like going for a nature walk or getting a massage. Buy yourself a coffee. Pick up a dessert to go. Buy yourself something you’ve been eyeing.
Look at your life the way you’re looking at your ex. Turn your own highlight reel into a story about how well your life is going. If you’re having trouble finding things to celebrate, ask those closest to you to help point out the good things in your life. Chances are they’ll be able to list off several awesome things you’re overlooking!
You might try high-intensity training or interval training. The high intensity portions of the workout will allow you to release built up emotions. The recovery periods will give you time to catch your breath. If you’re not used to exercising, work your way up to it gradually. For example, you might start by walking for 10 minutes a day. Working with a trainer can also help.
Maintain your sleep schedule. Eat a healthy, balanced diet. Soak in the bathtub. Engage in relaxing activities.
