This works in conversation, too, with tone, pitch, and words. For example, if they’re using a sarcastic tone, mimic that. And if they’re speaking softly, lower your volume as well. Mirroring should be natural and understated. Don’t copy every single thing they do. Just try to imitate their overall body language. Otherwise, if you move every time they move or obsess over it, they’ll notice something is off.
Avoid trying so hard to hide your feelings that you end up being mean or hurting your crush. For example, joking and teasing is okay if it’s harmless, but don’t say something like “Wow, you look like you’ve gained a few!” if you know they’re self-conscious about their weight. If you’re struggling to act normal or if you get really nervous around them, try taking a few deep breaths to calm your nerves before you start talking. Focus on the sensation of the air flowing in and out of your nostrils.
If you’re in the same class or have another unavoidable activity together, you can still give yourself space. For example, sit at a different table or ask someone else to be your lab partner. Don’t make it obvious that you’re distancing yourself. For instance, if you see them walking towards you in the hall, don’t dramatically run away. Instead, smile back politely and keep walking.
Not only will focusing on yourself make you stop thinking about them, it will also make you a more cultivated person in general. Win-win! If you still find yourself checking your phone while you’re with your friends or doing another activity, try putting your phone on “Do Not Disturb” mode so you won’t get notified if they text you, or unfollow or mute them on social media.
Remember that your journal is for your eyes only, so don’t hold back! Let your thoughts flow freely and write whatever comes to mind. You can also type out your thoughts in a Microsoft Word document on your laptop or in the Notes app on your phone if you’d like. Journal as often as you want to or need to. You can set aside time every day to do it, or simply write when the inspiration strikes. For instance, you might just journal after you have a run-in with your crush.
For example, start the conversation with something like, “I have something important I want to tell you but you have to promise not to tell anyone, not even our other friends, okay? It’s really personal. ” Pick a private place, like in your bedroom or in the car, to have these conversations. You don’t want anyone to overhear who isn’t supposed to. Don’t tell your friends about your crush if you don’t trust them or if they have a reputation for being unable to keep things to themselves. Choose wisely who you tell. If you’re worried about your friends accidentally spilling your secret, talk about your crush to your parents or older siblings instead. They can give you advice on how they’ve dealt with their own crushes, too.
To prevent your crush fantasies from consuming your time and life, schedule time to think about your crush, as silly as it sounds. For example, set a timer for 20 minutes every night before bed. After those 20 minutes are up, turn your attention to something else.
The “flaws” can be whatever makes them less than your ideal person, no matter how picky or insignificant those characteristics seem. For example, maybe your crush is exactly your height, but you prefer someone taller than you.
Ask a question like, “If you could be an animal, what would you be?” instead of “Would you want to be a cat?” Or ask, “What do you think about the book we’re reading in English?” instead of “Do you like the book?” Don’t force questions into the conversation. Too many questions will feel more like an interview than flirting. Ask them whenever it feels natural and choose questions that follow the topic of conversation. If they say they love pizza, for example, ask something related like, “What are your favorite toppings?” instead of jumping to a random question like “What’s your favorite song?”
Don’t be discouraged if they don’t pick up on your hints. That’s the thing about being subtle: It doesn’t always work. It works both ways, too. If you notice that they’re dropping hints about hanging out, realize it might be a sign they want you to ask them out.
If they aren’t free at the time that you suggested, offer another time. But if it seems like they’re blowing you off, take the hint. For instance, if you ask to go bowling on Friday and they say they’re busy, say “How about the following weekend?” If they’re still busy say something like, “Okay, well just let me know the next time you’re free!”
For example, if your friend is throwing a party, ask, “Hey, Sarah is having a pool party Saturday. Do you want to come?” The one downside of group outings is that you might not get much face time with your crush. Make it a point to pull them aside for a few minutes during the event, whether it’s to go get drinks for everyone or to chat a little bit away from the group. Keep in mind that inviting someone to a party or hangout with a bunch of other people is very subtle. They may not get the hint that you’re interested in them so increase your flirting during the event to make it clear.
Get inspiration by looking up promposals online or searching the #promposal hashtag on Instagram. These tend to be very over-the-top. Adapt them to fit your style and preference. Be prepared that they might say no. If you’re asking them out publicly, that could be humiliating for you.
If you think the answer is that yes, your rejected crush will matter in 5 years, ask yourself why you feel that way. Is it because you think there’s no one else out there for you? Challenge those thoughts by digging deeper and listing the reasons why your thinking is irrational.
Change the background of your phone to be a positive quote image, too. Whenever you check the time or get a text message, you’ll see it. Find positive affirmations with a quick Google search or browse inspirational boards on Pinterest. Make your own Pinterest board filled with quotes that you can refer to when you’re feeling down.
Say yes when your friends ask you to join them for a night out, even if it’s the last thing you want to do, or call your mom just to talk when you’re feeling lonely. If you’re really struggling, ask your friends and family to write down some of their favorite things about you in a list and look at it whenever you need a confidence boost. Be careful you don’t use socializing and activities to completely avoid your pain. Find a balance of social time and alone time.
A psychiatrist is able to prescribe medicine if you have a chemical imbalance like depression that can be treated medically. Find a therapist who’s covered by your health plan by contacting your insurance provider. They’ll give you a list of doctors who you can see and only be required to pay a small copay. If you’re feeling suicidal, get help immediately. Contact emergency services or a suicide prevention helpline, such as the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (if you’re in the United States), which can be reached by calling or texting 988. [12] X Research source
