Many attention seekers enjoy negative as well as positive attention. For example, they might whistle because they know it will annoy you and you will snap at them. As hard as it might be, ignore the whistling in the future. Use ear plugs or listen to music while it happens. If the person uses stories to get your attention, make an excuse not to listen to them. For example, you might say, “I have to get work done now” or “I’m sorry, but I’m busy at the moment. ”
For example, if your coworker sits down beside you and starts talking about an argument with your boss, just nod your head along. When they finish, tell them that you need to get back to work. Try not to ask any questions if they are telling a story. Respond using short statements like “that’s nice” or “okay” instead. That said, if the person has a genuinely good idea or a fun story, don’t be afraid to show your interest. Everyone needs genuine attention now and then. If you’re actually interested in their hobbies or stories, you might enjoy the conversation.
For example, if they’re ranting about how a cashier was rude to them, you might say, “What did they say exactly? Did they really call you that to your face? Where was the manager?”
Don’t reward dangerous stunts or pranks with attention. If attention seeker engages in risky activities for attention, tell them outright, “I don’t like seeing you harm yourself. If this continues, I’m not sure we can hang out. ” If you think the person is in danger of hurting themselves or another person, get them help as soon as possible. Some signs that they may be thinking of suicide include talking about their death, giving away their possessions, or increasing their use of alcohol or drugs. Consider calling or encouraging them to call 800-273-TALK, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. [3] X Research source If the person has numerous public displays of crying, screaming, or shouting, you may want to suggest that they see a mental health professional.
For example, if you don’t want them touching you, you might tell them, “Would you mind not tapping or grabbing me when you want my attention? How about you knock on my desk if you need me. ” Ignore any future touching. You might also say something like, “I know you’re fond of parkour, but I get nervous when you show me videos of you jumping off buildings. Please don’t show me anymore. "
For example, if they call you, you might say, “Hey, I can only talk for 15 minutes. What’s up?” If you’re hanging out with them, try saying something like, “Let’s get lunch, but I have to leave by 2:00. ” Set an alarm on your phone to tell you when you need to cut off the conversation. When it goes off, it is a signal to you and the other person that the conversation has to end.
Posting too much on social media might be a sign that the person wants more of a human connection. If this is someone you care about, reach out to them by phone or in person, and ask them to hang out. If they post controversial material on social media, you may be tempted to leave a comment or respond. Try to resist this urge. Likewise, you can also block the person from commenting on your own posts if they continue to search for reactions there.
For family members, you might schedule 1 phone call a month or exchange pleasantries at family events. You don’t have to constantly accept their calls, however. Tell attention-seeking coworkers that you prefer only to discuss work-related matters, especially in the office. If they try to come to you with office drama, give them a time limit before returning to work.
You might start this conversation by saying, “Hey, I want to check in. Has everything been going all right lately?” If the other person doesn’t want to talk, they don’t have to. You can simply tell them something like, “If you ever do want to talk, just let me know. ”
You might send them a random text that says, “Hey, I was just thinking about you. Hope you’re having a great day!” or “I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do. ” You can even tell them something like, “Even if we’re apart, you’re still important to me. ” It is important to approach them yourself so that they don’t have a chance to try to grab your attention. This will help reassure them that they don’t need to resort to drama or conflict to get positive attention.
You might tell your loved one, “I’ve noticed that you seemed really upset lately. I love you, and I want to make sure you get the help you need. " These behaviors may be a call for help. Try not to dismiss these threats as just attention seeking. They may very well be legitimate. Personality disorders, like Histrionic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder, may cause people to engage in extreme attention-seeking behaviors.
