Bullies are a special type of hater. For someone to be a bully, their actions must be repetitive and there must be some type of power imbalance involved. [3] X Trustworthy Source StopBullying. gov Website run by the U. S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying Go to source While all bullies are haters, not all haters are bullies. For example, your little brother can call you names without being a bully, since you’re probably bigger and stronger than he is. Likewise, if a classmate says one nasty thing to you, then she isn’t a bully. In general, passive methods are better when dealing with bullies, while confrontation may be best to address other kinds of haters. If your hater is annoying you in class, pretend you can’t hear him or her. If your hater provokes you or tries to get your attention, do not respond in any way. Remember that ignoring hate is not best in all circumstances. If the person who hates you starts to physically or verbally assault you, it is best to get other people, especially an authority figure like a teacher or work supervisor, involved.
For example, if someone insults your art, take the high road. Try saying: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but art is subjective. I’m just doing my best to improve, though, so I would appreciate any constructive criticism you may have. " If someone calls you “weird,” you could say: “Maybe a little, but I like who I am. What’s wrong with being weird?” When you are walking by someone who hates you, don’t look down or lean the other way. That kind of posture tells the hater that you’re afraid, that you’re giving the hater what he or she wants. Instead, stand up tall with your head held high.
When you’re young, you will especially get a lot of hate from people who don’t understand your interests and passions. Instead of hanging around these sorts of people, look for ways to pursue these passions outside the scope of their negativity. If you are dealing with especially malicious haters in one of your classes, ask if you can transfer to a different one. If you are facing haters in a club or group, consider whether you can find another group that is not so negative. If you know that a particularly nasty person is always in the same spot every day, do not go to that spot. Find a way around or ask a group of your peers to go past the spot with you. Avoiding the haters is also a great way to boost your self-confidence. This gives you an opportunity to pursue your interests without the flood of negative thoughts. [6] X Expert Source Inge Hansen, PsyDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 19 November 2019.
For example, if your haters tell you you’ll never be good at sports, you can prove them wrong by working hard. Join a team in a sport of your choice if you don’t already belong to one and throw yourself into practice. If haters think you are too scared to talk to your crush, let that motivate you into finally asking him or her out. Be aware that proving haters wrong does not always make them stop. In some cases, your success could make the haters even more jealous. This is not a reason to keep yourself from succeeding, but don’t do anything just to show them up. Live life for yourself.
Try telling your hater: “I’ve been getting a lot of negative energy from you recently, and I’d appreciate it if you kept those thoughts to yourself. It’s childish, and I don’t want to have to deal with this anymore. " Try to understand why your hater is acting this way. Ask him or her: “Have I done something to personally wrong you? You seem to be taking a lot of negativity out on me, and I don’t understand why. "
While you should never start a fight, don’t let a hater hurt you. Learn self-defense and protect yourself. Turn your attacker’s strength against him or her.
Block harassers. [7] X Research source Most online platforms allow you to block communication from certain users. Use this feature to keep your hater from contacting you. On many forums, this feature will even hide his or her public posts from view to keep them from ruining your day. Check the rules of the game or website. Most prohibit trolling, threats, and other inflammatory communications. Instead of responding to such attacks, report them to a moderator.
Always remember that anything you put on the Internet can potentially be accessed forever. Even if you think a forum is private or you delete something, a hater can easily download or screenshot it for later use. Think before you post. Especially if you are a minor, be extremely careful what type of information you give out online. Don’t post things that could tip a stalker off to your home address or typical daily schedule.
Don’t delete anything. Although you may be tempted to make these hurtful words disappear, it’s better keep them. Save all emails, messages, and chat logs. Certain types of cyberbullying are illegal. If things escalate to where authorities need to get involved, you will need to have proof of what happened. [8] X Research source
Try reaching out to critics with personalized comments. Be empathetic, logical, and polite. Offer solutions. Try not to respond out of anger with poorly-thought-out words. [9] X Research source Consider not engaging at all. It’s hard to please everyone, and it’s hard to meaningfully connect with someone over a comment board. This is especially true when a person has a habit of making hateful remarks. This is the nature of having an online presence. Some people may hate you for the very things that others love. [10] X Research source
If these haters will still be a part of your life in five years, ask yourself what you can do to change that. Can you change schools? Can you change yourself? Can you confront them now and take care of the problem? If the haters will not be a part of your life in five years, think about why. Perhaps you’re going away to college, or you’re switching to a different job, or you’re shifting your social circle. Is there any way you can make this transition happen sooner?
If you forgive your haters, you may find that their words no longer bother you. Try to understand where they’re coming from. Expand your awareness beyond your own experience and your own insecurities. [14] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Do not mistake belittlement for forgiveness. Avoid telling yourself that these haters are just stupid, or petty, or small-minded even if these things are true. Remind yourself that even haters are human beings with their own thoughts and feelings.
