A brother or sister who’s significantly younger, for instance, may feel entitled to special treatment from your parents because they’ve always been catered to. Getting a grasp of your sibling’s motivations doesn’t mean giving them a pass to do whatever they please. If anything, it leaves you better armed to confront their selfishness effectively. [2] X Research source
If you’re quarreling with one of your siblings over a piece of land, you might suggest a compromise by saying, “I have just as much claim to the lakefront property as you do. Maybe we could each use it for half the year. " To keep the conversation from breaking down into an argument, try to present your side of things in a non-confrontational way.
For example, if one of your brothers is bitter after being burned in a bad business deal with the other, encouraging them to be the bigger person may convince them to reach out and end their grudge. Don’t go for a guilt trip by saying things like, ”Dad would be so disappointed in you. ” Instead, stress the importance of taking the high road with a gentle admonition: “Dad raised us to be forgiving, remember?”
To give your requests more weight, make it clear to your sibling how their actions affect others. “Would you mind letting me know when you’re coming over from now on?” is more persuasive, and more diplomatic, than, “Don’t show up unannounced again. ” There’s a possibility that they’ll be uncooperative even after you’ve pleaded with them. In this case, all you can do is take heart in the fact that you tried.
Feuding with a sibling could cause them to feel unwelcome at holiday gatherings or refuse to let their kids play with yours. These sorts of outcomes can be hurtful to more people than just the two of you. Severing ties with a sibling may be the best option if their behavior has reached the point of becoming abusive or exploitative, or if the only interactions you have with them are negative. [6] X Research source
Let your sibling down easy by telling them something like, “Sorry, Frank, it’s a personal policy of mine not to loan money to anyone, not even my favorite brother. “[8] X Research source They may be quite insistent, so be prepared to stand firm in order to send the message that your decision is final.
Your safe can also hold items that have no value in themselves but provide access to things that are worth a lot of money, such as spare house and car keys, original birth certificates, social security cards, passports, and copies of insurance policies. Spring for a safe with a fire rating of at least one hour to make sure its contents stay safe in the event of a disaster.
Things can sometimes get pretty heated when money is involved. Do your best to keep your siblings calm and promote open, civil communication. If your siblings protest or accuse you of being manipulative, assure them that you have nothing to gain from the meeting and that you simply feel like it’s your duty to honor your parents’ wishes.
Living trusts basically lay out the guidelines for distributing a person’s money or property following their death. They’re essential in situations where one sibling stands to receive a larger portion than another. Your parents’ trust document will also allow them to name a beneficiary for their life insurance policy, 401k, and personal assets.
Your attorney can lend you a hand completing and understanding important documents and advise you about what you can do to block your siblings from attempting to claim more than their fair share.
If your sibling isn’t willing to cooperate with your personal attorney, consider hiring an outside legal consultant to act in an impartial capacity. [13] X Research source Formal mediation may be your last chance to smooth things over with your sibling, or at least prevent them from getting any messier than they have to be.
Challenging your sibling in probate court will cost you a considerable amount of time and money, even if you win. For this reason, it’s best used as a last resort. [15] X Research source There is, of course, one major benefit to taking your case to probate court—once the ruling comes back, there will be no more question as to who is in the right.
