It may be the person isn’t giving you mixed signals at all. It may be that the person is simply being nice or friendly, and you are reading more into it than you should.
For instance, you could casually mention your plans for the weekend, such as “I’m excited about this weekend. I’m going to see this really great independent film downtown on Saturday. " If the person is interested, they might ask to tag along. If you want to open the door a bit more, you could add, “What are your plans?” or “Do you want to tag along?”
If you’re trying to see if someone likes you, you could say, “I noticed you seem to flirt when I’m around. How would you feel about going on a date?” However, be careful doing this step at work. Most workplaces frown on inter-office dating, and you could be making a very awkward situation that could cause trouble for you later.
Consider how far along you are in the relationship. If you’ve only been on a couple of dates, having a serious commitment talk is going to scare the other person off. In that case, you can still bring it up, just keep it more lighthearted. Similarly, if you’re just trying to see if someone likes you, you’re going to approach the conversation a bit differently, by feeling out whether the person is into you or not.
For instance, you don’t want to say, “You are so wishy-washy. You should make up your mind. " Instead, you could say, “I feel like I’ve been getting mixed signals from you lately. I can’t tell if you really want to be with me or not. " If you’re still new to a relationship, you could say something like, “I know we’ve only been on a few dates, but I like you a lot. I’m just curious if we’re on the same page. “[12] X Expert Source Philip Glickman, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
For instance, some people always want what’s on the other side. When not in a relationship, they want the connection of being in a relationship. When in a relationship, they want the independence outside of a relationship. Once they get one, the other value seems much better, so they move towards that instead. Therefore, as they get too close to someone, they instantly start moving away. Some other pairs include control and spontaneity, freedom and responsibility, and novelty and stability. Each time the person gets one, the other becomes automatically more appealing.
If you suspect this is the problem, start a dialogue about it. You could say, “I sense that you really like me, but I feel like you want to keep me at arm’s length. Is there a reason you have a tendency to do that?”
Try to think. Do you hold the person at arm’s length? Are you warm one day but push the person away the next? Do you cancel dates even when you don’t have a good reason to?
Do you like spending time with the person? Do you constantly want to spend more time with the person? Are you interested in what the person thinks and feels? Do you value their thoughts and opinions? The answers to these questions can help you decide whether you want to be with the person or not.
This symptom can also be a sign that the person is not willing to compromise, another bad sign. Either way, you probably want to get out of this relationship.
Pay attention to whether or not the person actively makes space for you in their lives. Do they say yes to plans? To they call you to ask you out? Do you see them at least once a week, most of the time?
The opposite of this person is one who constantly tries to build you up. They actively want to make you feel good about yourself, and look for ways to compliment you and your achievements. [23] X Research source One way to recognize what type of person you’re with is to see how they react when someone else criticizes you. Does your partner defend you or stay silent?
The opposite is sometimes true, though not always. In other words, a person who doesn’t seem to want to touch you could mean the person’s not attracted to you. However, it could also mean that the person has had some trauma in their past and therefore has trouble with physical intimacy.
