Many people gossip for attention or to get a reaction. If you ignore the gossipers, they may get bored and stop talking about you.

Pay the other person a genuine compliment, like, “Wow, you worked really hard on these flyers, Rose! The graphics look great. ”[2] X Research source Try to sound genuine, especially when giving compliments. You don’t want to come off as sarcastic or insincere, as this will only make things worse. If you can’t find something to compliment them on, try helping them instead. For example, you could open a door for them or help them carry something heavy.

Be cordial, but refuse to get close to gossipers. Don’t tell them anything personal about you, which could later serve as ammo for even more gossip. Chatting is not the only way gossipers can get personal information. If you suspect that they might gossip, don’t give them your user name on social media.

You might ask questions like, “How did you know this was going around?” or “What did you say when they were spreading that rumor?” You may even simply ask, “Why are you telling me this?” to better understand their motives. You don’t necessarily have to end your relationship with the messenger. But, it may be wise to watch this person more closely. They may not be as innocent as they try to appear to be. They could be fueling the gossip rather than trying to stop it. Let the messenger know that if someone has a problem with you or something you did, you’d rather them tell you about it directly than spread gossip. Say something like, “Next time you hear Aunt Margaret gossiping about me, please ask her to talk to me directly. ”

The next time someone tries to gossip to you, say, “You know, this is starting to feel like gossip. I’d rather not talk about her if she’s not here to defend herself. ”[4] X Research source If you gossip about other people, then people will find it more difficult to take you seriously when you ask them to stop gossiping about you.

You might say, “I’m having trouble with another student/coworker. I think this person is spreading rumors about me and it’s really affecting my ability to focus at school/work. Can you talk to them?” The student or employee in question may have a reputation for gossiping or bullying, so your superior may want to take disciplinary action. [5] X Research source

You might reorganize your desk, go for a walk around the block, go chat up a friend, or set a personal deadline to finish a project.

Call up your best friend and ask them to hang out. You might also spend more time with your partner or family.

Include all your positive traits, things you like about yourself and features others admire about you. You might list things like, “great listener,” “good shoulder to lean on,” or “creative. ”[7] X Research source Try to give yourself at least one compliment each day. It can even be something small, like the pretty color of your eyes!

Walk your dog or play with your cat. Listen to your favorite music or sing in the shower. Write or draw something. Consider giving yourself a bigger treat one per week, such as a manicure, going to the mall or movies, or eating your favorite ice cream.

For example, recognize that a person who gossips may be doing so because they feel insecure and are trying to make themselves look better by putting others down.

If someone is jealous of you, try to be nice to them. This will give them less gossip fuel.

That’s why treating a gossip kindly or complimenting them may end the negative comments. These people may simply want some positive attention because they feel bad deep inside.