They’re distracted by something else, like problems at home or work. You upset them without realizing it, and they feel hurt. They just don’t “click” with you, so they prefer to spend time with other people. They’re keeping a secret (like a surprise party) from you, and they’re worried they’ll spill it if they talk to you. They feel nervous around you for some reason (like having a crush on you or being intimidated by you). They just aren’t very social, and they treat everyone this way.

Plan for an apology if you realize you’ve done something wrong. Even if this person didn’t behave perfectly either, it is always better to take the high road. Practice different meditating techniques if it is hard for you to reflect. If you’re having trouble viewing the situation objectively, try asking someone else who knows what’s going on and can give you an outside perspective.

Pick a quiet time to talk, when both of you are free and not distracted. Meeting in private will allow you to work out any problems between you (if there are any) without the embarrassment of a public confrontation. If you’re especially nervous or think it might not go well, you can ask a 3rd party (like a mutual friend, counselor, or authority figure) to hep mediate.

“Lately, when the three of us hang out, you’re mostly talking with Serena while I listen. I feel left out. " “Mom, I’ve seen you play video games with my brothers a lot. I’m glad you have good relationships with them, but sometimes I feel left out. I wish we spent more time together. " “Honey, lately I’ve noticed that after work, you go out with friends, and don’t come back until late. I miss you, and I want to spend more time with you. " “Are you upset with me? I noticed that you haven’t been answering my calls and texts for the last 2 weeks. "

“If I read the same book series as you, would that give the three of us something in common to talk about? Because I would be willing to do that. It does sound like a cool series. " “So, what I’m hearing is that you play more with my brothers because they invite you to play games, and if I want to spend time with you, I should ask, and you will. Is that right?” “I didn’t realize that I was overwhelming you. Maybe we could set aside two date nights a week for just us, and I’ll go out with friends more often too, so that I don’t feel lonely as often?” “I can’t change my sexuality. If you aren’t okay with me being gay, that’s your problem, and you don’t have to spend time with me anymore. "

“You seem pretty distracted right now. Would it be better to talk about this later today?” “I would like to have a closer relationship with you. But if that’s not a priority for you, then we don’t have to have this conversation. " “I don’t want to fight with you. Maybe we should take a break for now. " “If you’re going to call me names, then I’m going to leave. " “Let’s talk about this later, when we’re both calmer. "

Recognize and accept the fact that not everyone is going to like you. Even the nicest and most popular person in the world is bound to meet people who dislike them from time to time. Sometimes, the person might be going through something that doesn’t have anything to do with you at all. They might just not be ready to talk about it. [2] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.

This doesn’t mean snubbing them or being rude to them if they approach you. It’s important to keep good manners, even if they aren’t treating you the same way. Stay cordial.

Let the person know it’s okay if they need some time. Say something like, “I’ve tried reaching out a few times and I haven’t heard back from you. I just want you to know I’m here for you and I hope we can talk whenever you’re ready. “[4] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.

Explain your boundaries clearly, and let others know what the consequences will be if those boundaries are violated. For example, if your significant other ignores you and plays on their phone whenever you go to lunch together, say something like, “I feel really ignored and unappreciated when you’re on your phone so much. If you don’t feel like spending quality time together, let me know, and I’ll make other plans for lunch. ” If others in your life aren’t used to you setting boundaries with them, they might react with disappointment, surprise, or even anger at first. However, if they care about you, they should ultimately respect your boundaries.

You can also collect nice things that other people have written or said about you.

If you’re not sure where to find friends, try joining a club or organization for people whose interests are similar to yours. If you have friends who consistently ignore you, put you down, or violate your boundaries, you may need to distance yourself from those people or cut ties with them altogether.

Do an activity that you both used to enjoy.