Make sure at least one of them is a positive, good personality trait that you see in yourself. Also, list one personality trait that is negative or bothering you in some way. Don’t use your physical appearance as a way to describe yourself. Focus only on your personality.
Understand if you are only seeing the negative in yourself. You may feel like you’re not worthy or don’t believe in yourself. Find ways to boost your self-esteem. If you only mentioned one negative trait, you may have greater confidence in yourself, but lack insight into what needs improvement. Consider evaluating your limits in a healthy way and finding more humility.
There are not right or wrong answers about which activities make you a happier or more personable person. This is just a way to figure out the context of what makes you happy. Some people enjoy activities by themselves or with a few people more than others. Some people love to be at big parties with lots of people. No matter the activity, it’s important to learn how to interact with and respect others. Good communication skills with others helps to show the best parts of your personality.
Your anxiety, anger, or temper Your shyness, fearfulness, or awkwardness Your loneliness, sadness, or depression Your stubbornness, irritability, or frustration Your lack of trust Your arrogance
Identify the different ways to feel and look confident. Have good body language that shows you’re not fearful of others. Maintain good eye contact. Smile. Look interested in what others say and do. Gain confidence by focusing on the positive things in your life, and what you do well. Think about any recent events in which you worked hard, did well in something, or overcame a struggle. Remember these times, rather than the times where you messed up. Besides thinking of what you do well, imagine what you’re capable of learning to do well. While you might lack confidence in a particular skill you haven’t developed yet, you can access immediate confidence by focusing on your determination and adaptability to learn and grow. [1] X Expert Source Kirsten Parker, MFAMindset & Action Coach Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.
If you’re nervous about trying something new, ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen. Likely your only risk is feeling awkward or embarrassed. If you tell yourself you can handle those emotions, then you’ll be able to be more adventurous. [2] X Expert Source Kirsten Parker, MFAMindset & Action Coach Expert Interview. 22 July 2020. If you’re not ready to do something new on your own, try things in groups or with a trusted friend or family member. New experiences don’t necessarily have to be risky adventures that put you or others in danger. It’s just something that gets you out of your comfort zone.
Show empathy when others need to talk or vent. Imagine what it would be like in their shoes. Listen without interruption. Put away your electronics and devices, and focus on being present with others in need. Try to remain kind and polite even when others are rude. While it’s important to know your limits, avoid trying to pick a fight when someone disagrees with you.
Show self-control. Forgive yourself and others. Put the past in the past. Avoid dwelling on past mistakes, and focus on how to find solutions and be future-oriented. [4] X Expert Source Kirsten Parker, MFAMindset & Action Coach Expert Interview. 22 July 2020. Consider saying these self-affirmations: “I release the past so that I can step into the future with pure intentions” or “I forgive myself one day at a time until it’s complete. “[5] X Research source Focus on how you can give rather than take.
Focus on how to be strong in your daily life. If you’re experiencing challenges, identify what’s within your control and decide what you want to take action on. It’s also important to be objective about what’s outside of your control, so you don’t feel disempowered. [7] X Expert Source Kirsten Parker, MFAMindset & Action Coach Expert Interview. 22 July 2020. Develop your resilience by not taking things too seriously. Believe in second and third chances to improve and become better. Take care of your body, mind, and spirit by finding ways to stay positive and be healthy. [8] X Research source Avoid being disheartened or disillusioned. When thinking of past stressful events, focus on what good came from them: what you learned or what you appreciate more now. This will help you believe that something good can come from future challenges, and not feel hopeless. [9] X Expert Source Kirsten Parker, MFAMindset & Action Coach Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.
Imagine that things can be confusing, unclear, and gray. And that’s okay. Imagine alternative ways of understanding a situation or person. Avoid assuming that there is no alternative way of thinking.
Identify ways to control your anger. If you feel yourself getting out of control, make your exhales longer than your inhales for a few breaths, to get yourself out of fight-or-flight mode. [11] X Expert Source Kirsten Parker, MFAMindset & Action Coach Expert Interview. 22 July 2020. Look at what triggers your frustration, and find ways to reduce these stressors. Instead of thinking about how much something makes you anxious and angry, take a minute. Breathe. Imagine yourself in a calm and relaxed place.
Do things that you normally would avoid or complain about. Help others that need your help. Focus first on how you can help those closest to you–your family, relatives, friends, neighbors, classmates, or co-workers. Branch out of your comfort zone, and consider volunteering your time to others. Give back to your community.
Consider taking a public speaking course. There are also many meetings nationwide via Toastmasters that help you learn public speaking: https://www. toastmasters. org/ If you are in school, there may also be debate classes or other opportunities to learn public speaking. Try talking more often with acquaintances through school, social gatherings, work. Build your communication skills.
Instead of wishing for things to be better, be grateful for you’ve got. Remember at least three things each day that make you grateful for your life. Appreciate what the world has to offer rather than fixating on how you’ve been ill-treated.
Avoid seeing your personality as static. You will likely change over time. You may become less shy. You may become more open-minded. Or maybe, you become more stubborn as you grow older. Whatever your personality is or becomes, it is adaptable. It is uniquely yours, and you have the ability to adapt it, change it, or keep it as is.
Learn ways to cultivate happiness in yourself. Do relaxing activities. Meditate. Listen to music. Take a walk in nature. Take time for yourself.
Avoid negative talk or thinking. If there are others putting you down, avoid defining yourself on their terms. You determine who you are. [16] X Expert Source Kirsten Parker, MFAMindset & Action Coach Expert Interview. 22 July 2020. Find supports that boost your positive personality traits. Find others that welcome you, and make you feel loved. Share with them your concerns. Be kind to yourself every day.
