People with higher self-esteem are able to accept that they have positive attributes, even if they are not perfect. [2] X Research source Post your list somewhere visible, like your bathroom mirror, and look at it daily. You can add to it as your inner voice becomes more positive.
Journaling can be a powerful tool to monitor your inner dialogue and improve your self-esteem. [4] X Research source Try to focus your positivity journal on opposing your normal negative inner thoughts. For example, if you would tend to insult yourself for not speaking your mind about something, be sure to write down times that you do speak your mind.
For example, instead of, “I will always speak against people who are spreading discrimination and hate,” you might make your goal, “I will do my best to calmly oppose the ideas of others who spread discrimination and hate. ” Instead of “I will never eat sugar again and will lose 30 pounds,” your goal could be, “I will strive to live a healthier lifestyle with better food choices and more exercise. ” Write down all your likes and the things that attract you. Try to find these things so you can put yourself in a zone where you’ll feel fulfilled.
Create a mantra for yourself, like “that’s okay, I’m awesome anyway. ” For example, if you lost your temper and yelled at your child at the park, you can say to yourself, “I am not perfect, and I will work on keeping my emotions in control. I will apologize to my child for yelling and explain to him why I became upset. It’s okay, I’m an awesome mom anyway. ”
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an approach that will address your automatic negative thoughts about yourself and teach you how to deal with your emotions in a healthy way. For more complex self-esteem issues, more in-depth psychodynamic therapy may be a better option for dealing with the roots of your problems.
Find an organization that addresses a cause that you feel passionate about. Volunteer somewhere with a friend or a group of friends; this will help the organization (many hands make light work) and the experience may be more enjoyable.
Find a hobby that makes you feel better physically and mentally. [8] X Research source Some people find that yoga, bicycling, or running help them find a calm, centered positivity.
Making your loved ones aware of your self-esteem building journey will encourage them to act as a support system for you. You may want to tell close friends or family something like “I am working on improving my self-esteem. You can help me by pointing out when I say something negative about myself so that I am more aware of my negativity. ”
Avoid fad diets and opt for whole foods that are minimally processed. Avoid foods such as candy bars, soda, cake, doughnuts, and pastries, which lead to massive energy crashes, possible headaches, and offer no nutrition, possible illness, and added calories. Eat more fruits, veggies, lean meats, and legumes. Think of them as all-day energy and abundant nutrition for your body, that will enable you to keep up with your job and kids, protect your body against illnesses, and extend your life so you can enjoy more time with your family.
Many people find that walking outdoors is refreshing and restorative, particularly if they spend most of their time working indoors. Even a 10-minute workout once or twice every day offers benefits to your health.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because this is what motivates people to improve, find better and more efficient ways of doing things, and be the most excellent they can be.
The Centre for Clinical Interventions describes people with low self-esteem as having “deep-seated, basic, negative beliefs about themselves and the kind of person they are. These beliefs are often taken as facts or truths about their identity. ” Untreated low-self esteem can often lead to lifelong problems, such as being the victim of abusive relationships, feeling constantly self-conscious, and being so afraid of failure that you don’t even try to set goals.
If your inner voice, or thoughts about yourself, are mostly critical, you likely have low self-esteem. [15] X Research source If your inner voice tends to be positive and comforting, you have higher self-esteem. [16] X Research source
The inner voice of someone with low self-esteem often manifests in one of the following personas: a nagger, a generalist, a comparer, a catastrophizer, or a mind-reader. Each of these unique inner voices either insults you or assumes the worst about other people’s perception of you. Silencing the negative inner voice is a first step in building your confidence. Replacing it with more positive thoughts will be the next goal. For example, your inner voice may say “I didn’t get the job I just applied for, so I will never have a job again and I am useless. ” You want to change that to “I am disappointed about not getting this job, but I have worked hard and the right job is out there waiting for me; I just have to find it. ”
If you noticed a particular pattern when evaluating your inner voice, try to trace those feelings back to your first memory about them. For example, if your negativity is about your weight or appearance, try to remember when you first started feeling uncomfortable with your weight; was it due to a particular comment or group of comments?
For example, your goal may be “I will be more positive about myself and talk to myself like a friend rather than an enemy. ”
