If you are overbooked and under slept, see if there are any commitments you can cut back on. Indulge in activities that let you completely unwind. Give yourself that space and peace to relax regularly, thereby giving your resilience a chance to increase. Engage in positive activities to reduce stress and increase your positive mood. Think of stress as a challenge or opportunity. If you are stressed, this means you care deeply about something that you are doing. You are worried about it. Use your stress as a way to inform you about your priorities and obligations. Change your thinking from stress-related thoughts such as, “I don’t have enough time,” to, “I know that I can do this. I just have to organize my responsibilities. "
Just find a comfortable seat and close your eyes, focusing on the breath rising in and out of your body. Work on relaxing your body one part at a time. Block out any noise or distractions.
Watch a comedy, read a funny book, and spend time around people who are genuinely funny. When going through hardships, be sure to balance your sorrowful movies, books, and thoughts, with funny, humorous ones, to prevent you from hitting the bottom of the pit of despair. Learn to laugh at yourself. The ability to not take yourself so seriously will make it much easier to face challenges with a smile on your face.
One study of 3,000 nurses with breast cancer showed that the nurses with 10 or more close friends were four times more likely to survive than those without.
This can be a person who is succeeding in your field, a grandparent, an older friend, or really anyone who can help you achieve your goals and face adversity with a level head. If you are school-aged (elementary through college), a school counselor or coach can serve as a useful mentor and support for you.
Seeing a doctor is not a sign of weakness; admitting that you may need some help actually takes a lot of strength.
For example, if nobody wants to publish the novel you wrote, that doesn’t mean you have to let your worth lie in what other people think about your work. Be proud of yourself for a job well done, keep trying to get published, or try something new. If you got fired, pick yourself up and look for another job – or even consider finding a job that gives you more value and makes you happier, even if you take your career down a new path. Though it may not feel like it, getting fired may be the best thing that ever happened to you. Try to think about the positives and move toward a solution.
Consider what goals you have, whether little or large. These goals give a sense of purpose to your life and keep you focused. Write down a list of things you want to accomplish in life. Keep this list in a safe place and evaluate your progress regularly. Learn to recognize what gives you a sense of purpose in life and what detracts from that. Live your life in accordance with your values and convictions.
Make a goals list of everything you want to achieve in the next month, 6 months, and year. Make sure each goal is realistic and achievable. An example of an achievable goal would be to lose 10 lbs in 3 months. An unrealistic (and unhealthy) goal would be to lose 20 lbs in 1 month. Make a week-by-week, or month-by-month plan for getting what you want. Though life is unpredictable and you can’t plan everything, setting out some sort of a plan can help you feel more in control of the situation, and more likely to succeed. Tell other people about the goals you want to achieve. Just talking about your goals and discussing what you’re going to do may help you feel more obligated to achieve them.
Learning a foreign language, read books and the papers, and watch exciting films. Resilient people are always asking questions when they are faced with a new situation. Ask questions until you feel like you have a firm grasp of a situation instead of feeling immobile and unable to deal with it.
Find a way to nip your negative thoughts in the bud. Any time you notice that you think or feel something negative, try to think of three positive thoughts to fight those negative ones. You know what will go a long way in helping you be more positive? Hanging out with positive people. Positive attitudes, just like negative attitudes, are infectious, so spend more time with people who see opportunity at every turn instead of whiners and complainers, and pretty soon, you’ll be noticing the change within yourself. Avoid catastrophizing. Though something truly awful may have happened to you, chances are it’s not the end of the world. Try to think of an alternative or more positive outcome. Focus on your past successes. What have you done well? What have you achieved? Make a list of all of the positive things you have done in your life. You may begin to see just how resilient and accomplished you already are.
Work on being open-minded. Avoid judging people for how they look, what they do, or what they believe. Not only will this help you learn something new, but being aware of a variety of perspectives can help you see the world in a new way if you’re forced into an unfamiliar situation. A way to get better at embracing change is to always be trying new things, whether you’re making new friends, picking up a new painting class, or reading a new genre of books. Keeping things fresh can make you less resistant to change. View change as an opportunity to grow, adapt, and transform. Change is necessary and good. Tell yourself, “I accept this change. It can help me grow and become a stronger, more resilient, person. " If you are spiritual or religious, prayer or other traditional practices can help you accept change. Have faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to, even if they aren’t exactly how you imagined them. Ask your higher power for help in accepting change.
Understand the problem first. You may feel that you’re unhappy with your job because you’re not being paid enough, but if you dig deep, you may see that it’s really because you feel that you aren’t following your passion; this presents an entirely new set of problems than the one you thought you were faced with originally. Find more than one solution. Be creative and identify multiple solutions; if you think there’s only one solution to the problem (i. e. quitting your job and trying to play in a band full-time) then you’ll run into issues because your approach may not be practical, doable, or may not be able to make you happy in the long run. [12] X Research source Make a list of all of the solutions and pick your top 2-3 candidates. Put it into action. Evaluate your solution and see how much it was able to help you succeed. Don’t be afraid to get some feedback. If it didn’t work out, don’t look at it as a failure, but as a learning experience.
If you find yourself feeling depressed or anxious after rejection or failure think about how it can help you grow stronger instead. You can think something like, “What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. ” As the saying goes, “A clever man learns from his mistakes. A wise man knows how to avoid them. " Though you can’t always avoid your first mistakes, you can gain the wisdom that will help you not to make the same ones in the future. Focus on solutions or ways to avoid the same situation in the future. Look for patterns of behavior. Maybe your last three relationships haven’t failed just because of bad luck, but because you’ve failed to invest the necessary time into them, or because you keep trying to date the same type of person, who just may not be compatible with you in the end. Identify patterns that may be occurring so that you can begin to prevent them from re-occurring.
Instead of thinking you do not have control, look at setbacks and think that they happened because of an unfortunate situation, not because it was 100% your fault or because the world is a terrible place. Focus on the option that it won’t always pan out this way. Let go of things you cannot control and try to adapt.
Make sure to make time for mental breaks when you’re caring for yourself, too. Studies show that taking mental breaks, whether you’re just daydreaming or closing your eyes and listening to a song that you love, can help ward off those stress chemicals and will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.
Use self-enhancement by paying close attention to your positive qualities, while minimizing your negative ones. You can begin by making a list of everything you like about yourself. Seek value through using your talents and abilities to their fullest, be it in a professional, volunteer, business, home front, or other capacity. Learn new abilities and skills as often as you can. This will strengthen your self-esteem and can also ward off fears. For example, if you’re afraid your children might be hurt some day, take a basic first aid course to reduce your sense of fear and to increase your confidence in being able to cope should something happen. Workshops, seminars, courses, etc. , are all good ways to improve your knowledge and to expand your network of acquaintances on whom you can draw support if needed.
Take a photography class, write a poem, take up watercolor painting, redecorate your room in an original way, or consider sewing your own clothes.
Try starting with something simple like taking a walk in the sunshine for twenty minutes a day; this activity has been proven to help people be more open-minded and ready to face challenges.
Think about past setbacks that made you feel like your life was over. See how you were able to work through them – and to come out stronger on the other side. If you feel like you’re missing closure on an event from your past, try to figure out what it will take to move on, such as confronting someone or visiting a place where you used to live. It isn’t always possible to get closure, but there may be a way to change your thinking about the past so you can feel stronger when addressing future challenges.
