A good rapport is not just about sharing and cultivating conversation, but about allowing each party to reveal something a little meaningful about themselves. [2] X Expert Source Cristina MoraraDating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
Consider the common thread that brought you both to the event (work, a mutual friend, a mutual interest) Steer clear of controversial topics unrelated to the event Remain polite and casual
What’s your hometown? What was it like? Where do you work? What keeps you busy? What did you think about (such-and-such) movie? What kind of music do you like? What are your top five bands? Do you read? Which three books would you bring with you onto a desert island?
What’s the best surprise your life has thrown you so far? What’s your oldest friend like? What would be your ideal job? What’s one thing you think you would be really good at if you made the time to pursue it? What’s your favorite thing about your job? What were you like in high school?[4] X Expert Source Cristina MoraraDating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020. What would someone be really surprised to learn about you?[5] X Expert Source Cristina MoraraDating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
Who’s your favorite author/actor/musician/athlete? What do you like to do for fun? Do you sing or play any instruments? Do you play sports or dance? What are your secret talents?
It is also a good idea to resist debating with your conversation partner. Share ideas respectfully without resorting to negativity. [8] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source In general, try to ask questions you yourself would like to be asked. [9] X Expert Source Cristina MoraraDating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
“Why do you enjoy that (sport/show/movie/band/etc. )?” “I like that band too! What is your favorite album of theirs?” “What first drew you to (their interest)?” “I’ve never traveled to Iceland. What would you recommend a tourist do there?”
“Maybe we should leave the debating to the politicians and move on to another topic. " “This is a difficult topic, but I doubt we’ll solve it here. Perhaps we can leave this for another time?” “This conversation actually reminds me of (a more neutral topic). "
“I like your earrings. Might I ask where you got them?” “The dish you brought to the potluck was delicious. Where did you find the recipe?” “Soccer is a strenuous sport. You must keep yourself in great shape!” You can also gush about the host of your event, especially if both you and your conversation partner are acquainted with the host. [14] X Research source
For example, if both you and your conversation partner play tennis, you might ask what kind of racquet she prefers. If you play tennis and she plays chess, you might ask about how chess tournaments are run and whether they differ from tennis tournaments.
How a local sports team is doing An important local event (such as a concert, parade, or play) New movies, books, albums, and shows Significant news items
Be sure that your sense of humor is not one that relies on insults, too much sarcasm, or scatological humor however. These can be off-putting.
While it helps to be witty, funny, and interesting, don’t worry about meeting those high standards. Simply be a pleasant, friendly version of your authentic self. For example, rather than pretend to be an expert on traveling in Spain, you can simply say, “Oh! I’ve never been to Spain. What is your favorite part of traveling there?”
“It was great to meet you! I’ll give you a chance to mingle with some other people here. " “It was a pleasure to talk to you about x. Hopefully we’ll run into each other again. " “I’m afraid I have to go say hi to (my friend/the host/my boss). I really enjoyed meeting you!”
What is the most rewarding part of your career? Have you encountered any difficulties in your job? Where do you hope to be in a few years? Is this the career you expected, or did you take a nontraditional path?
“I saw the political debate last night. What did you think?” “I’m pretty involved in my local church group. Is that something you’re involved in?” “I’m passionate about bilingual education, though I realize that’s a controversial topic sometimes . . . "
For example, if someone asks you what you do for a living, you can tell a story about a weird thing that happened to you during your commute. If someone asks you what your hobbies are, you can talk about a time when you competed in an event instead of simply listing off all your hobbies. If someone asks you what movies you’ve seen lately, you can talk about a funny encounter you had at the movie theater.
Try practicing being more vulnerable. Letting yourself disclose deep or personal information to others is critical in building and maintaining interpersonal relationships. [32] X Research source
What were you like as a kid? Who was your biggest role model when you were growing up? Do you remember your first day of kindergarten? What was it like? What’s the hardest you’ve ever tried not to laugh? What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever seen? You’re in a sinking boat with an old man, a dog, and someone who’s just gotten out of prison. You can only save one. Which would it be? Would you rather die as a total unknown who did great things or as a world-famous hero who didn’t actually do the thing you were credited with? What’s your biggest fear? What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever felt? What’s one thing you wish you could change about yourself? How different is your life from what you imagined it would be like when you were a kid?
Bodily or sexual functions Recent breakups or relationship turmoil Political and religious opinions Gossip and salacious stories
A good listener is someone who will actually listen and focus on the other person instead of just trying to look engaged. Be present when someone else is speaking. Avoid trying to think of what you are going to say next. Instead, just listen to them.
