Avoid places that you know she frequents. This may include her favorite restaurants and coffee shops, or shops near where she lives. Avoid social gatherings that you know she will be at. This will only cause unnecessary tension and cause you to obsess over the past. If you are both invited to a party or event, tell the host that you are busy. Missing a few social gatherings is worth the jealousy and frustration that you will feel if you see her again.

Consider unfriending or unfollowing her on social media. Social media allows us to paint a positive picture of our lives. Such images of her will only make you nostalgic about the relationship. If this feels too drastic, consider removing her from your news feed or phone contact list. [2] X Research source

Reconnect with the friends you had before you met her. They are friends with you outside of the context of your relationship with your ex. They will help you forge a new identity without her, and are less likely to bring her up.

Try starting with one week. During this week allow yourself to cry, get angry, listen to sad music, or do whatever rituals you feel necessary to your healing. When that one week is up commit to moving forward. Don’t panic if you find yourself thinking about her. If you try to forbid yourself from thinking about her, you will only think about her more. This is called the “white bear effect. “[4] X Research source If you think about her, accept the thought, and then let it go.

Write out your feelings in a journal. [6] X Expert Source Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCCMarriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 7 August 2019. Writing is a good way to come to terms with a subject so that you stop thinking about it. After you have allowed yourself to vent about her, don’t bring her up again. Avoid talking about her and try to move quickly from the topic if someone asks you about her.

For the first few dates, avoid bringing up your ex. Over time you will be able to talk about her, but while it is still fresh it will only prevent you from moving forward.

It’s normal to want to be alone after a break-up. Do not isolate yourself for too long or it will keep you from moving forward.

Explore new bars and restaurants so that you meet a new batch of people. There are probably many places you never had the chance to explore while you were together. Join a new club or find a new activity that will allow you to make new friends. These new friends and activities will distract you from the past. They will also share a bond with you that is totally outside of your ex.

Obsessive thinking about your ex activates the same craving region in your brain as drugs and alcohol. [8] X Research source Replace your addiction with something productive.

Think about your professional goals. This is a great time to push your personal growth at work or at school.