Choose an excuse you can easily remember. There is nothing quite as humiliating (and heartbreaking for the host) as forgetting your own made-up problem. A legitimate excuse might include one such as, “I had to take my child to the emergency room” or “My car battery died unexpectedly. ”
Be well informed of your fake needs, but do not sound forced or rehearsed. Take a moment to think about answers to any questions that are posed. Someone might ask how your emergency went. You can say something vague but helpful such as, “We were worried, but (insert name) is doing well now. ” In the case of car trouble, you could say, “I was so bummed! I was able to get my car running a few hours later. ”
You can say that you have to take your child to a game, you have to take a friend to a lesson, or you promised a family member you’d attend their play. The possibilities are endless.
An ahead-of-time warning could include an excuse such as, “I have to pick a family member up from the airport that day. ” If an advance heads up is not possible, give them at least a few hours of warning. Do not call a few minutes before you were supposed to arrive and ask for a rain check.
If you are concerned about divulging too much and revealing your hand, feel free to say something simple, such as, “I was so sorry I couldn’t attend, but my family enjoyed their stay. ”
Real but safe illnesses include the flu, a cold, bronchitis, or (for women) even a case of severe menstrual cramps.
If you cannot stay home, prepare yourself for the possibility of running into someone. Have an excuse for being out and about at the ready.
If you claimed to have a cold or the flu, you can give yourself a facial to reveal fresh, pink skin to create the illusion of being tired or out of sorts.
If someone does ask exactly what was wrong with you, you can grimace and say, “You don’t want to know,” or something in a similar vein.
If you are not known for being quick on your feet, pause for a moment and say you’re thinking about whether or not you are free, or rifle through your phone or calendar while you try to come up with something. You can say something such as “I have a doctor’s appointment that day, I’m so sorry!”
If you claim a social or work appointment, you can even take a photo or recording of your presence at said appointment to upload to Instagram or Facebook.
Choose an appointment that is not readily rescheduled. A hair appointment, for instance, can likely be pushed to another time, but a doctor’s appointment is harder to reschedule.
Be sincere. If you cannot think of something nice to say, you can just apologize and leave it at that.
Some people will be offended by you honestly expressing a desire to stay home. If this is something you can handle–great. If not, you may need to use one of the aforementioned techniques.
You could say, “My ex is going to be there, and I’m not ready to see her yet. ” You could also say, “I am exhausted, and that is my only day off. ”
When you answer questions, do so with respect. If you are not comfortable with the types of parties the host throws, try to phrase your reason carefully, such as, “I’m not much of a drinker, so I always feel awkward and out of place. ”
Do not give in, then change your mind and cancel later. If you do not want to go, say so directly. If you give in, stick to your commitment.
