Closure is especially important if you want to move on from this crush and feel ready to date other people. [1] X Research source Talking to your friend will require vulnerability. This takes courage because you might face disappointment. It’s an important communication skill, however, and something you’ll need in future relationships. [2] X Research source If you don’t tell your friend you care for them, they might never know the extent of your feelings. Letting them know can help them understand your friendship and support you, if needed. [3] X Research source
Being vulnerable about feelings is important. If you can’t express your emotions, you and your friend may not feel connected or safe around each other. [4] X Research source
Don’t tell them immediately after they break up with their significant other. This will come off as callous and unsympathetic. Give them time to heal.
For example, if you tell them that you care about them, they react sympathetically. If you only make it seem like you want to date, they may react defensively.
However, even if you need less contact than before, don’t ghost your friend and disappear completely. Try remembering how important the friendship was to you before you developed the crush. [8] X Expert Source Laura BilottaDating Coach Expert Interview. 4 March 2020. Hurt, grief, and pain are all part of grieving. Don’t suppress your emotions or feel ashamed. It’s all part of the healing process. [9] X Research source If your feelings cause significant distress and you’re unable to move on, you may be dealing with depression. Talk to a psychologist or therapist. [10] X Research source
Don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. Instead, ground yourself in the present. [12] X Research source Instead of building up a fantasy life, work on yourself. Set goals in your work or hobbies, spend time with loved ones, and work on self-improvement to love the life you have.
You don’t have to stop being friends, but spending time with just this person can cause you to dwell more on your feelings. [14] X Research source
Rebuilding a friendship can take weeks or months. You may not feel “over” your crush until you find someone new. Take as much time as you need to process your emotions. Let your friend know why you need space so that they don’t feel hurt or confused. Let them know that it isn’t their fault and that you still care about them. [16] X Research source
For example, you might tell your friend to hold off on the cuddling or hugging, even if they just mean it in a platonic way. On the flip side, you may have to hold yourself back from hugging or holding them. Let them know why you are doing this so they don’t feel hurt or abandoned.
If the emotions are too overwhelming, take a break from thinking about your friend. Relax, recharge, and revisit the situation when you’re ready. [19] X Research source Talk to other friends or someone you trust. Getting your feelings out can keep you from dwelling on the situation. Third parties can also give you an outside perspective. Sometimes a good cry can be cathartic. If you need to cry, find somewhere you’re comfortable and let it out. [20] X Research source
Sometimes people use humor as a coping mechanism in hard times. Make sure that you’re not using jokes to repress painful feelings. [25] X Research source
If you’re not the creative type, start a journal. Seeing your emotions on paper will help you work through them. [27] X Research source
Falling in love might cause you to forget yourself. Re-discover who you are apart from your friend and learn to love yourself. Use the old relationship as a guide to figure out what qualities you like about yourself, and where you would like to grow. [31] X Research source
Pick a hobby that requires a lot of time and concentration. You can then use it to escape your mind for a while and focus on something productive. Now is the time to revisit an activity you used to do but for whatever reason let go. Doing something you love again will help you reconnect with your inner self.
Don’t distract yourself constantly with friends. Spending time alone is important, too. If you need some space from others for a while, let yourself have that time. [32] X Research source
Meet new people. Join a club, volunteer somewhere new, chat with a classmate or co-worker, or visit your local bar. [34] X Research source Recognize the qualities that you liked in your friend and look for them in others. Understand that you won’t find someone exactly like your friend, however. Realize that your friend may not have been the one, and believe that eventually you will meet the right person and realize why things didn’t work out with your best friend. [35] X Expert Source Laura BilottaDating Coach Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.
If you’re not careful, you may become bitter from the pain and start to hate your friend. Don’t let yourself fill with negative emotions. [36] X Research source