Remind yourself why you can deal without this relationship, and list ways to help you start moving on. This day is for clearing your head and setting yourself a clear sketch of the future without your ex.
Take down photos. If photos linger, it shows you are still thinking of your ex, and some studies show it can actually cause physical pain. [3] X Research source Be sure to return anything to your ex that you know could cause issues. If you have something valuable, and it was not a gift, it may be best to give it back. It’s possible to be found civilly liable if the gift can be deemed as exploitation of your ex. [4] X Research source
Pamper yourself by going to the spa. Go somewhere and do something your ex never wanted to do. Read a novel and immerse yourself in a different world.
Cook a good meal for yourself, something your ex didn’t like. Think about how nice it is to eat this meal without any issues. Go to a lecture or reading on something that sparks your interest. Analyze the message and see how it reflects upon your current situation.
Include the next day you plan to go out. Even if you don’t want to go out, force yourself to stick to the plan. Determine what kind of person you desire. Think about who you want, and ways in which you will not settle. Find your soulmate this time. Set a date by which you’ll go on the next date. Don’t let your ex dictate your happiness. Find the next person who will help you forget about your ex. [6] X Research source
Go watch a movie. Shoot for a genre other than drama or romance, so you’re not reminded of your breakup. Be sure to splurge on all the popcorn and treats you desire. Sleep in. Wake up whenever you want. Plan on being lazy all day with PJs, a cup of coffee, and a marathon of your favorite show. Soak in the rays. Lay out – on the beach if possible – and just enjoy a sunny day. Listen to nature wash away any last vestiges of your ex.
For example, maybe your ex had a really outgoing personality and often got carried away in conversations with other people rather than focusing on you. Or, perhaps your ex was really into country music and you can’t stand that kind of music. List anything and everything that helps you to see how you and your ex were incompatible. If you want, you can also include in this list anything that your partner cited as a reason for ending the relationship (if he or she broke up with you). [8] X Research source
For example, you might decide that you would prefer someone who is more introverted, likes to read, and who enjoys the same kind of music as you do. Or you might decide that you want a relationship that is honest, genuine, and loving. You might even consider what you can do to improve the chances of having this kind of relationship. What could you have done better in your last relationship?[10] X Research source For example, if you had a habit of texting your ex constantly, then maybe you can try to give your next girlfriend or boyfriend some more independence.
For example, you might think back to a time when you argued for an hour over what to do over the weekend, or when you fought because you caught her flirting with another guy. You can also reflect on any warning signs that the relationship was ending. [12] X Research source For example, did you start to argue more frequently? Did your ex start to talk to you less and less?
For example, you could look back on a silly fight that you had over what kind of pizza to order, or just laugh at how different the two of you were in general.
Avoid all calls. Don’t let your ex explain away any wrongdoings. Don’t read texts. What they say isn’t important. Defriend them on social media. Don’t take a chance of seeing something they post that could further hurt you. Be sure you change your relationship status to “single”. If you can’t avoid your ex because of work or school, then avoid eye contact and all conversation.
1st Day - 60 minutes 2nd Day - 50 minutes 3rd Day - 40 minutes (and so on)
Go get your hair done. A new ‘do may help you feel better, and like a new person. Take a long, hot shower. Wash every inch of your body, thinking of scrubbing away any possible remaining particle of your ex that may remain. Get a clean shave. Even if you don’t plan on going anywhere.
If you are having very serious issues, you may need to see a doctor for an antidepressant or prescription sleep pills. [20] X Research source
You may have to see the therapist more than once, but it’s possible just a single session can get you over your ex.
Change out your playlists. Whether they are for easy-listening or they are your go-to workout songs, make changes so you don’t associate specific tunes with your ex. Move furniture into different locations. If you were used to the couch and your ex took the recliner, move them to different locations and claim the recliner. Use different towels in the bathroom. Go for anything different. Size, shape, color, design, texture, change to something foreign. Load your dishwasher a different way. Put the forks where the knives go. Place the plates horizontal instead of vertical. Make it something completely new to you. Delete shows from the DVR. This is especially helpful if it’s a show you started watching because your ex liked it.
Be careful to avoid the rebound. Don’t settle for someone just because you’re used to being in a relationship. [25] X Research source
You can’t control everything. Use this as a way to get over any control issues you may have. Realize there are some things, no matter how hard you try, that will not be as you wish. Learn how to forgive. You may be angry, sad, or depressed, but breakups often serve as a great opportunity to find our kindness. You’ll be happier when you realize forgiveness, because your ex will no longer occupy your mind with ill feelings. Express relationship desires more clearly. The result of failure is often analysis and improvement. Figure out what was expressed incorrectly or inefficiently, and learn to tell your future partner precisely what you want in a relationship.
