Remember that silence does not make you weak Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breathing to calm yourself. Think about the big picture. Getting into a physical confrontation could cost you your health, your job, or your education. Remember what really matters and try to put these small annoyances in perspective. [1] X Research source You always have the choice to be yourself and behave consistently with your values and character. Your behavior is only controlled by others if you allow that to happen. If you are the type of person who is loving, honest, kind, and authentic, demonstrate to yourself that that this is the real you by being that person even around difficult people and strangers.
If, for example, someone is invading your space, try directing them to something in your surroundings that is funny or interesting. If someone is pestering you with an annoying topic of conversation, try to bring up something else that you know will interest them. [3] X Research source
This is an extreme solution. You should generally refrain from following this course unless you believe the person might endanger your safety.
There are several advantages to I statements. Instead of placing the blame on them, you make it about how you feel. Furthermore, instead of exaggerating by making a blanket statement like “you are always angry,” you can specify exactly when their bad behavior pops up. That will make it easier for them to correct their behavior. We are always behaving in ways to get our basic needs met—annoying people are simply choosing indirect ways to get recognized. With that principle in mind, you might say, “The way you are acting is getting my attention, but not in a good way. It would be helpful for me if you just told me what you wanted. "
For many people, behaving negatively to get their needs met is the only way they know how to behave. Try helping them see how much their behavior impacts others, and suggest better alternatives for how they can act.
Remember patience is important. If they don’t seem to respond, try to make your message clearer by pointing out when they acts in a way that bothers you. Do it in a non-confrontational way, like “Don’t you think that question is a bit personal?” Evidence shows that people who have close personal relationships are happier than those who don’t, but maintaining those will generally be hard and require sacrifice. Don’t give before giving the other person a chance to get better.
This will give them more time to allow your comments to sink and try to develop. This might help salvage your relationship by saving you from an angry explosion that would only make things worse. Remember that you may be doing them a favor. If everyone around you thought you were annoying, wouldn’t you like to know how to change that? Be polite and stick to “I-statements. " “I am going through a hard time right now, and it bothers me when you ask personal questions, because it reminds me of what has happened. Could I get some space for the next couple of weeks?”
This is not a valid strategy if you have been friends for years or if you live or work in close enough proximity that you can be expected to encounter one another again[10] X Research source
Instead of accusing them of doing something wrong, tell them in an impersonal way what you need in a friend: “My life is stressful right now, and I need to be surrounded by people are relaxing and empathetic. ”[11] X Research source
