When you look and smell your best, you feel great. As a result, you come off as more confident and likeable to others.
You might also power pose to seem more confident by placing your hands on your hips or folding your arms behind your head to form an inverted triangle. Whatever pose you choose, make sure it’s relaxed, not forced. Forced body language looks awkward and makes people think that you’re trying to put on a show. You may want to practice open, confident body language when you’re alone.
For example, you might say, “Hey, Noah! How did that math test go?” if the last time you spoke they mentioned having to study. Resist the urge to cyber stalk them to learn their interests. If you start talking to them about an interest they haven’t told you about, the situation could get awkward. They may also draw the conclusion that you have an unhealthy interest in them.
Once you’re sure the person likes you, you can move closer during conversation. Also, they may eventually feel more comfortable disclosing personal topics once they know you better. Respecting boundaries also applies to social media. Don’t flood the person’s social media profiles or push your virtual relationship further than is appropriate for your level of in-person relationship. The person could see your advances as out of place and inappropriate.
For example, you might ask, “What brings you to this conference?” or “What sort of music do you like?” Open-ended questions require more expansive answers that keep the conversation going.
For example, if they miss a class, ask them if they want a copy of your notes. If they’re ill, bring them chicken noodle soup.
Once they pause, paraphrase what they said back to them to be sure you’re clear on what they’re sharing. This lets them know that you’re truly listening and provides the chance for them to clear up any misunderstandings so that you fully get their message. Listen with your whole body. Make eye contact with the other person, lean forward a bit, nod in agreement or understanding. Keep in mind that if you spend the whole time talking about yourself, you won’t get to know the person better, and they may not think you’re interested in them. Let them do most of the talking.
Say, “Cool shirt! I’m a Harry Potter fan, too" or “Wow, that’s a really neat idea!”
Dance a little jig to show you’re happy, gently tease them, or send them a funny meme. Making them laugh will certainly make them like you even more than they already do!
You might say, “Hey, I remember you said you’re good with computers. My laptop keeps freezing up. Can you take a look at it for me, please?”
If you know the person always forgets their pencil when they come to class, have one ready for them. If they desperately need someone to watch their pet over the weekend, offer to do it.
This also means being there when you say you will. If you say you’ll hang out on Thursday, don’t flake on them to hang with someone else.
Sharing the little silly things that define you will bring you closer to the other person. Also, a minor disclosure deepens your relationship, since you probably haven’t told everyone this information.
For instance, if the person asks if you like their favorite movie, say “Hmm, it’s not really my thing, but I did like the main character’s personality. I can see why you like him—he’s hilarious!” Don’t say, “No, I hate that movie!”
Sticking to your beliefs takes courage. It’s not easy to be the one who stands up to a bully or refuses to go along with a harmful or dangerous prank. Being true to yourself might make you unpopular with some people but could also attract those with whom you share common values.
Remind yourself of your strengths by listing them out to yourself. You might say, “I’m a great listener” or “I can make people laugh. ” Respecting yourself also means not doing anything that goes against your personal beliefs or values. Self-respect is key to earning respect from others. It’s difficult for people to treat you with real regard if you don’t treat yourself well.
